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So, Your Ex has a new SO, Now what?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CWU chapter.

Hello My Collegiate Cuties, I am here to guide you through the ego crushing experience that is seeing your ex with a new significant other. Now don’t get me wrong, it really does suck to see your ex move on for the most part, because we all think we are the best they were ever going to get… this is our ego being super unrealistic and shallow. Because believe you me, there is going to come a day no matter how long they wait, that they find love again, and you must remember that them being happy again is okay.

Let’s get to it. There is a common response we tend to have when finding out our ex has moved on. Just to name a few.

  • We Stalk our ex’s new SO on every form of social media, and end up hating yourself for it, but you need to know what they are doing, and who they are. Why? Well. Because, your ego is bruised and you need to find any information that tells you, you’re better than them.
  • Once that FAILS and you realize you are being crazy AF! You resort to shit talking your ex to everyone you know, because by being happy without you they just proved they don’t need you to survive after all… Damn it.
  • One thing as a lady that you must NEVER resort to is bashing on your ex’s new bae. You don’t know them; they aren’t ugly, and no amount of name-calling, or put downs will make them ugly, so get over it.

Another common theme is to obsess and wonder if they do the things that you two used to do, or if they have more fun, if their new SO is better than you. Well… I’m going to hit you with a little bit of truth here friends… the answer is probably yes.  They probably do have a better relationship than the two of you did. Because if your current relationship isn’t as good as your last one, you’re doing it wrong. But don’t get discouraged about this, you should feel joy in knowing that your ex probably learned a lot from their experience with you, and is a better SO to someone else because of it. Just because they moved on, doesn’t mean that you never existed or that you don’t still matter depending on your relationship with your ex. No amount of new memories, and love can erase your story with them. That is written, and no one can take that from the two of you. You don’t need to feel defensive of your ex anymore, because you are no longer a part of their story, for a reason.  Focus on your own story. Don’t waste your time reading into someone else’s happily ever and forget to keep writing your own.  Its easy to resort to anger, resentment, and disappointment when these things happen, but try your best to understand that this is the way things are for a reason. Feel proud that you have both moved forward in life.

 

Keep it classy, Queens

 

XoxoxoxoÂ