Getting older has always brought on a mix of emotions for me, and this past May was no different. The thought of turning 22 brought on a wave of anxiety, caused by personal challenges that left me questioning my life and identity. At that time, I had just finished working on a project that made me feel like I truly belonged—a rare and comforting feeling. I was even offered a job I would have loved to take, but logistical reasons prevented it from happening. The uncertainty of it all felt overwhelming.
With no clear direction, I decided to return home, where I underwent LASIK surgery—a small but significant change. Not only did it make me feel more confident, but it was a symbol of seeing things more clearly, both literally and metaphorically. My time at home became a sanctuary. I reconnected with my family, particularly my brother, who was just starting college. Helping him shop, finding his style, and growing closer to him reminded me of the simple joys in life. Spending time with my childhood dog brought back memories of carefree days, a comforting contrast to the daunting future looming ahead. Although this time didn’t magically solve all my problems, it definitely was a healthy distraction—a much-needed pause in the chaos.
However, the calm didn’t last long. Returning to my everyday life, I lost some close people within the span of a week—an emotional blow that left me reeling. But these losses came with lessons, ones that I didn’t fully appreciate until I was offered the opportunity of a lifetime. As a film major nearing graduation, the fear of becoming a “struggling artist” weighed heavily on my mind. So when I was invited to work on the set of one of the most anticipated projects, it felt like a dream come true—a validation that I was on the right path.
This opportunity opened doors and also introduced me to a network of connections, new friendships, and invaluable lessons. I felt a deep sense of belonging and happiness that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Yet a small part of me couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all too good to be true. The fear that it might all disappear lingered, but alongside it was a growing sense of hope.
So far, my twenties have been a rollercoaster of emotions—fear, uncertainty, loss, and joy. But through it all, I’ve learned that life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it. While the future remains unpredictable, it’s not as daunting as I once thought. I’m beginning to see that maybe things are working out, and that’s enough to keep me hopeful for whatever comes next throughout this new era of my life.
xoxo