I was eight years old, holding onto my mother’s hand as tightly as I could. Fingers intertwined, I gripped her palm and never planned on letting go. As we walked into a park, I expected nothing short of a typical Saturday afternoon but boy was I mistaken. Being the curious little girl that I had always been, I was staring intently at all the other children around when I tripped and stumbled down to the ground. Unlike any other fall that I had ever had, this one was more painful than usual. I scraped my entire knee and as you can imagine, I cried louder than ever before. Weeping uncontrollably, I thought to myself, “This is never going to get better”.
To my surprise, three weeks later, my scab healed, my pain settled and I felt better than I imagined possible.
As I grew up, I injured myself a few more times. With a sprained ankle at my middle school graduation, I found myself on crutches as I hobbled into my very first day of high school. But every injury, every fall was different because the pain just wasn’t the same – and this was something that frustrated me. I simply did not know how to handle myself and the uncertainty ate me alive.
Now, as a 19-year-old, I think back to all the times I fell, the resulting broken bones and trips to physiotherapy. These memories remind me of a feeling so bitter – when there are a million thoughts racing through my mind and I feel drained, exhausted and have no idea how much longer I will have to wait before it all fades away. It’s as if I am on a roller-coaster that is never-ending or I am standing in a room and continue to lose my balance because the world is spinning. These are the moments that test my strength the most. The moments when I lack control and stability. I feel like I am all alone until I remember, I always have myself.
The first thing that I ask before you continue reading, is that you take three deep breaths. Close your eyes, place your right hand on your heart and breathe. Feel your lungs as they expand and contract and know that you are in the process of becoming the best and most incredible version of yourself.
There are moments in our lives when we feel as if we have nowhere to turn and if you are feeling this way right now, I want to congratulate you. I want to take a moment and acknowledge that while you may feel that this is the worst period of time, you are exactly where you need to be. The simple fact that you are facing a difficulty means that you have been given the chance to overcome a challenge, to exercise your strength and that in itself is a gift.
Our lives are like books; filled with thrill, unexpected moments, struggles and victories. Even when we find ourselves in a chapter that feels as if it will never end, it always does. We simply need to regain the strength to persevere – what seems like a straightforward task can be quite the challenge.
It is in these times when I flip back to my list of the three tasks that allow me to find peace and rediscover that everything is exactly as it should be:
- When I am feeling overwhelmed, I write myself a love letter. Take note of all that you adore most about yourself and read this aloud. There is something to be said about being your very own cheerleader.
- Even on your worst days, you deserve to treat yourself. You do not need an excuse to eat your favourite food and watch your favourite movie. You are the reason you have accomplished all you have to be proud of. Own it, embrace it and celebrate who you are – even though that may be someone who feels lost, you are simply in the midst of growing and evolving
- We often spend time pampering ourselves when we feel there are others to impress. Don’t wait to be invited to a red carpet event to wear whatever you are most confident in. Take yourself on a date. In your finest outfit, whether that be a tracksuit or a black dress, remind yourself that your smile is radiant and that you are beautiful.
Brené Brown, a world-renowned podcast host, author and professor once said: “I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.” Being brave was never meant to be easy, but each and every day that you work toward understanding that everything is happening for a reason, you prepare yourself for a life that is forever rewarding.
Looking back on all my injuries, I realize that emotional scars are just like physical wounds – they can cause far too much discomfort at the most inconvenient times. But, with persistence, patience and a little positivity, they do heal – no matter how much they hurt.
Continue to remind yourself that even if you feel the way I felt when I stumbled in the park as an eight-year-old, thinking that life would never get better, you are mistaken. Sometimes life needs to get in the way. Sometimes you need to fall so that you can learn how to pick yourself up. And in all the chaos you may just need to lose yourself in order to become the person you were always meant to be.