Confidence is something that comes naturally for some and intentionally worked on for others. I am a part of that latter group and always will be.
While I would say I am a confident person and am happy with myself at my current place in my life, I have not always been this way. As a matter of fact, I have been a very shy, self conscious individual for the majority of my life. It has only been more recently that I have been able to find a sense of inner peace and practice being confident in myself and capabilities.
Finding confidence is possible for everyone and there are different ways for everyone to grow this. Confidence looks different to each person, so I will be sharing my own personal experience of what I found helpful when embarking on my self development journey. On top of that I will share what my wonderful peers have shared when asked “what makes you feel most confident?”
It is hard to reach your full potential and feel confident when you are surrounded by people who keep you from getting to where you want to be. I am lucky that I have a group of friends who are supportive and loving. While it is challenging, it is vital to remove those who bring you down in your life. If you feel like you are constantly comparing yourself to certain people or they are often negative around you, try to remove them from your daily life. Having a solid network makes all the difference. After a while you will notice yourself no longer comparing yourself to others and being proud of who you are.
It is important to take time for yourself and to care for your mind. Prioritizing time to yourself, whether it be to read, do self care, or whatever else brings you joy, will help your mental health. This in turn will help you feel well enough to be confident and carry yourself how you wish.
It may be a cliche, but the saying “fake it till you make it” truly helped me in my self confidence journey. I made an effort to go about my life carrying myself with confidence and strength, regardless of how I really felt. After a while I was no longer faking it, instead it was natural. I took the time every day to get myself put together in a way that made me feel happy.
Don’t dress or do your makeup for other people, do it for yourself.
The aspect of my journey which made the biggest impact on my confidence was pushing myself out of my comfort zone and putting myself out there. What started off as me joining societies and clubs on campus turned into me becoming president of a society and being in charge of several organizations. You do not know what you are capable of until you try. Joining in on things that you are interested in will help you expand your circle and have experiences you could never imagine.
The following are answers from university aged students when given the prompt “what makes you feel most confident?” I hope at least one of these answers resonates with or helps you.
- “People acknowledging the things I do well”
- “A good hair day”
- “Getting ready in the morning, hair and basic makeup included. Look good, feel good!”
- “10 minute solo hype up dance party”
- “A cute outfits and a good hair day”
- “My friends! They’re always there to affirm my self worth when I need it”
- “Doing things that fuel my creativity”
- “Words of affirmation”
- “Setting boundaries”
- “Not caring about what others think, and saying positive affirmations”
- “The ability to work out”
- “Knowing that other people have confidence in me and my abilities”
- “Grades! Academic validation.”
- “Surrounding myself with only good energy (caring friends, good tunes, etc)”
- “Knowing that no one else cares more about me than me”
- “Getting ready for myself”
- “Blasting hot girl music”
- “Getting dressed up in a fun outfit”
- “Listening to music that makes me feel powerful and that brings me confidence”
- “Achieving a goal”
- “Going out of my comfort zone”
Everyone has their own thing that brings them confidence and joy and I encourage you to find yours!