In the summer of 2022, I traveled to Arviat, Nunavut, where my mom was raised. It was the summer before I was going to be moving to Halifax to start my journey at university. I was filled with anxiety but the second that I was on the land again, all of those feelings faded away. The fresh air, clear skies and being surrounded by the community was so refreshing. This trip will forever be memorable and significant for me because of the reflections I was able to have with respect to my Indigenous identity. And the feeling of reconnecting with the land was a healing experience within itself. I felt the difference in the way I was feeling mentally.
In my last few years of highschool, I was struggling a lot with my mental health. And, leading up to this trip to Nunavut, my mental health was at its lowest. Being out on the land, hunting, fishing and learning more about my mom’s life growing up in the north and visiting the spots that she, my aunts and grandparents visited regularly I noticed that it was very different from my experience growing up since I was born and raised in Ottawa, Ontario. I did have some visits to Nunavut here and there but even then, I have always been disconnected from my culture having grown up in the south. I felt this for as long as I can remember, even as a young girl in elementary school. When I started talking about being Inuk and our traditions which I had learned from my grandfather there were harmless questions from peers about my Indigeneity because I have a fairer skin tone and can’t speak much Inuktitut.
This feeling of not being ‘Indigenous enough’ had stuck with me all the way from my childhood leading up to this trip. I found myself constantly struggling with my Indigenous identity. Asking myself, ‘Does my skin tone and my lack of Inuktitut skills determine how Indigenous I am.’ Or, ‘Does the fact that I grew up down south make me ‘less Indigenous.’
I am so thankful to have gone on this trip at such a pivotal stage in my adolescence, because I have never felt more connected to my Indigeneity than when I was on this trip. It was also during my time in Nunavut that I had decided I wanted to embrace and share my culture more – in school, on social media and talking more about my Indigenous identity in general. Around this time as well, I had started doing more reading and research on traditional Inuit tattoos, learning more about the history, traditions and meanings behind them. In fact, this past summer I had decided to receive my first traditional tattoos. I now have forehead and chin tattoos which I wear everyday with pride. But, it wasn’t always like that because during the first couple of weeks with my new tattoos, I had the same feelings and questions that I did in my childhood. I questioned, ‘Am Inuk enough to receive traditional tattoos, will I have to explain myself to everyone who asks about them.’ But overtime, I realized that I don’t owe an explanation to others about my Indigeneity, especially because I have received judgy and concerned looks from strangers as they are face tattoos. I have chosen not to let these encounters affect me and I will forever be proud of my tattoos. They hold so much meaning and significance to my identity as an Indigenous woman. I am filled with pride whenever someone compliments them. When I look in the mirror, I am reminded that I am here for a reason.
Although I have struggled with my cultural identity for most of my childhood and even into my young adult life, I am grateful for the teachings and learning I have been able to do with my grandfather. He has taught all the grandchildren about his life growing up, how to make Inuit drums and even how to drum dance. And as he says each performance that a grandchild is doing with him at an event, “When I retire from drum dancing they will carry on the tradition.”
Innujunga…I am Inuk, I will continue to carry on the traditions of my ancestors and embrace our culture with the utmost pride.