There are a whole lot of reasons that you, as a collegiette, might decide not to have sex. You’re on your period. You’re not in the mood. You want to wait. You don’t feel ready. You’re in a non-conventional relationship. Whatever it is, we’ve all been in some variant of the situation. So what do you do instead? There are the standard options that are usually referred to as “bases” (watch this TED talk for the inherent problems in that terminology), or you could always get creative and try something new or unexpected. Here are a few places to start.
1. Kissing and sucking
Kissing is so obvious, but undeservedly underrated. I’m a sucker for the neck, but the whole body is really game here. As for sucking, try fingers and ears. Four years ago, Cosmopolitan published the tip of licking/sucking on the earlobe, and it’s since become a go-to of mine, since it’s a little unexpected and feels low-key amazing.
2. Side by side masturbation
Let’s face it, you can do it better to yourself than s/he can to you, and so it’s fun to still have your partner there as you get off together. The downside of this is that men climax significantly faster than women, so you may need to work out the timing here.
3. Dirty talk
Bring any of these moves up a level by trying to add in dirty talk. I say “trying” here, because who actually feels totally comfortable with talking dirty, besides whoever Jason Derulo is hooking up with? It’s fun to try out though, and it can be a great way to sexily communicate with your partner, since “you kiss my neck and breasts all they way down to my clit” is really just a sexier way of saying, “yo, I want cunnilingus.”
4. Touching/rubbing
Think touching the body here, rather than touching private parts. Places that are full of nerve endings and feel great when appreciated are the waist, inner thigh, and boobs, obviously.
5. Ice cubes
Ice is about as far Fifty Shades of Grey that I want to go in this article. Could be fun, but idk, never tried it. Anna certainly looks like she enjoyed it.
6. Watch porn together
This is also a low-key solid way of communicating what you want out of your sex life with your partner, since you can say things like, “let’s try that” or “please never ejaculate on my face.” It feels a little dirty, yes, but that’s unfortunately the society that we live in today. There is also increasingly a market for feminist porn out there, so now is the time to try.
If you are interested in writing an article for Her Campus Davidson, contact us at davidson@hercampus.com or come to our weekly meeting Tuesday at 8pm in the Morcott Room.