It’s not easy being socially awkward.
In middle school, I thought my awkwardness was just a phase. So that one time I tried high-fiving my best friend during science class and somehow shoved my palm in the center of her face, I didn’t question it. I was young, naive. I still towed around a rolling book-bag for heaven sakes! (My mom said it was the only way to prevent back damage from carrying so many textbooks. Another option, I later suggested, was leaving my textbooks at home.)
When I arrived at Davidson, I had no idea that in the middle of my sophomore year I would be high fiving the Dean of Students. If someone would have mentioned that during the four (or maybe five?) day orientation, I would have had ample time to prepare. Maybe I would have paid more attention to the “eye-to-elbow” rule. The best way NOT to give an awkward high five.
So when Dean X tells me that he too is a fan of the great and powerful #25, Richard Sherman, of the majestic Seattle Seahawks, and when he lifts his hand for what I interpret as a high-five, I somehow make palm to palm contact. But I failed to let go. There we were: Outside of chambers, on the first Saturday of Spring, hand to hand. Ten seconds go back and our palms are still connected. At this point, I’m thinking, “Duh….he wasn’t looking for a high five. He wants to hold hands!” I then lace my fingers with his, only he doesn’t lace his fingers back. I’m panicking. In my mind he’s thinking, “Wow, how did this girl get accepted? She can’t even deliver an adequate high five.” I just wanted to scream, “I’m smart! I’m smart! I swear I’m smart,” but instead, for reasons unknown, I attempt to savage the situation by holding on to his middle finger. I was like an infant, grasping his finger seemed to be my only course of action.
Finally, after the awkwardness had become too heavy for either of us to bear, Dean X withdrew his hand and shoved it in his pocket. I don’t blame him. That high five was painful for everyone involved. When it comes to high fives, don’t be awkward, learn when to walk away.
True story.