Change itself is ever changing in each and every persons’ view. A change can be positive, negative or entirely indifferent. I’ve had to experience some vast and terrifying changes throughout my life. At age fifteen my entire life changed as I moved from sunny Southern to the wet and cold West of Ireland. The mind is a powerful and fascinating thing: it develops boxes that the brain hides away to not allow the awful experiences to escape into our current consciousness. I don’t remember my final footfall out of the door of our home, I don’t remember closing my bedroom door, that had been my brothers and sisters before me, for the final time.
This change has had an incredible impact on the life of me and my family. This change represents the moment my parents changed from the authoritarian care givers to actual human beings. It represents the change in me from being the baby wrapped in bubble wrap to a young adult who can think and experience everything else like my siblings and parents. I felt the change first hand: the house, the school and myself.
I’ve been speaking negatively about this so far. I may still be dealing with the change, sometimes I feel grateful for the move and the way it has allowed me to grow up and mature faster than many of my contemporaries. Being uprooted from the family home of 35 years meant I learned nothing is permanent and nothing lasts forever. Some things have to become different and have to start a new. That’s the beauty of life, considering its manipulation and mind-blowing way of screwing with us, it’s pretty wonderful considering the alternative.
Change does tend to be considered relatively negatively. It ends relationships, breaks emotional attachments and can leave us feeling entirely lost, but it doesn’t have to be like that. A new job, new partner, new haircut or losing five stone are all examples of how change can be very positive in its way and effect on us.
It is life’s way of saying, “you’re too comfortable, that’s not living. You need to experience to live”. We should try to embrace the change. The way I coped with the debilitating and terrifying changes in my life was to wholeheartedly throw myself into them and believe that they were ultimately the best thing for me. I entered a new school at 15 years of age, standing tall at 5”10 and I smiled. I spoke to people and I believed that I could do it. I believed in myself and believed in the goodness in other people. People helped me to cope with the change. The odd “we miss you” from old school friends and “I’m so glad we met” from new ones helped me to accept and ultimately to move on.
This change also led to me developing the ability to cope with change, which is a gift in itself. Coping with change can be anything from gritting your teeth and dealing with it to fully accepting and learning to like your new circumstances. Each person deals with it differently and that is the beauty of change.
Photo by Alexander Shustov on Unsplash