The 21st century dating world is complicated to say the least. Long gone are the straight forward days where if two people went on a date or two they were automatically a steady ‘couple’. The process is ever changing as are the rules of engagement, and keeping up with with it all can be harder to keep up with than the Kardashions.
There isn’t a guide book to follow or strict rules to abide by, and in any respects it would make things a lot easier for everyone involved if such books existed because the difficult part of dating, relationships or even potential relationships these days is that nobody really understands the process, because every time it is different.
They key to understanding 21st century dating is understanding what type of ‘relationship’ you are engaging in and having open communication between you and your significant other to ensure that you are both on the same page.
Casual relationships are among the most complicated for a number of reasons. Firstly it is essential that both parties know that what is happening is ‘casual’ so that both have the same expectations, meaning one person isn’t hoping it will turn into a a long lasting meaningful, serious relationship while the other is only looking for a bit of ‘fun’. If you’re sure you’re both are on the same page, then you’re over the first hurdle.
Once it’s established that neither person is looking for anything more serious then a ‘casual’ relationship shouldn’t be too complicated right? So long and there is mutual respect for the other person and a clear understanding of what’s going? Well of course, but that is rarely the case.
Casual relationships get messy when ground rules aren’t established, and why make rules when rules aren’t fun and it’s all supposed to be fun right? Why label things when there is no need? Because eventually is will all spiral, there will be a lot of confusion and no one will know who is right and who is wrong. If you are seeing someone ‘casually’ does that mean it’s ok for them to get with other people? If it’s never been discussed it’s difficult to say yes or no, can you be mad it you’ve heard that they have? If they have kept quiet about it then yes. Exclusively at a certain point is assumed unless otherwise mentioned. Casual relationships are all well and good but communication is key and although it may be a difficult conversation to have, if you are not clear about what is going on throughout then you are being dishonest.
Casual relationships aren’t for everyone, and generally they do have some sort of expiration date as one person either gets more feelings than the other or else simply gets tired of the situation and wants to move on to something more meaningful, but for those who do what to engage in a casual relationship the 21st century dating world is fairly accepting of it, and in a way it’s liberating that it is an acceptable option in this day and age.
As for ‘serious’ relationships, if you are looking for something serious and would like to see it progress somewhere then it’s better to make this clear from the start. Having said that, you don’t want to come on too strong as the fear of commitment is sometimes enough to scare people away from the get go, but if you are looking for somethings serious, or at least something that isn’t ‘casual’ then it’s advisable to stand clear of engaging in anything casual with that person at all, and giving some indication of what your expectations are.
Miscommunication is unfortunately the route of the problem for a lot of failed relationships, and with so many complications surfacing in the 21st century dating world it is not as straight forward as it once was. As the saying goes ‘if you play with fire, you get burned’ so baring that in mind when entering into a casual relationship is probably a good idea, because when lines are blurred and conversations aren’t had, whether it’s you or them somebody is going to be bunt in the end.