No – it’s a full sentence. You don’t need any explanation or reason. No is enough.
All too often we think that we must say yes in order to be thought of as nice and pleasant and kind and the one you can always rely on. But what does that actually do to us?
We find ourselves running from Billy to Jack, helping everyone but ourselves, blaming everyone but ourselves, and resenting the fact that we never have enough time to do what we actually want to do. But the truth of the matter is that we are the ones who haven’t said ‘No’.
If you don’t want to go to your aunt’s friend’s mother’s sister’s neighbour’s daughter’s christening… then don’t. Or if all your friends are going out but you know you have an assignment due the next day, or a busy week ahead, or are simply too tired, then say no. Or if you know that you are not being treated right by someone then you don’t have to accept it. Say no.
I used to be so afraid about saying ‘no’, worried that for some reason, not having the ability to commit to and succeed in every little thing with every single person diminished my self-worth. Scared that no would be the end of a friendship, or a job, or an opportunity.
But truthfully, all it does is put a boundary in place. It shows others where the line is and how far you can be pushed – and more importantly, it shows you where your limit is.
Taking back your time, energy, space and self is the most powerful thing you can do.
It reaffirms to yourself that you are the most important person in your life. You deserve to think about what you actually want as opposed to having decisions thrust upon you by your inherent need to people please.. (wow I feel like I’m attacking myself right now…)
Obviously, there are some things in life we don’t have the option to say no to. Like assignments that need to be done and taxes that need to be paid. And yes, during any given day, you can’t just go rogue and decide that you don’t want to do any of the urgent things on your to-do list.
But you can decide what you want to do with the rest of your time and more importantly, your mental headspace.
Nothing (or no one) in life is worth your unhappiness. Do it. Say NO. I dare you.