How to Relight the Fire with an Old Friend

Like relationships, friendships can go downhill and become neglected, it happens to the best of us; people grow apart, move away or a fight happens. In most cases things aren’t broken beyond repair and there are ways to rekindle the lost friendship. I’ve had my fair share of friendships that ended some for the best and some I wish I did something sooner about them. Here are some tips I learned over the years and I hope they can help you too.  

1. Contact them: 

This is key in rekindling an old friendship and if this goes smoothly everything else will follow. Be the bigger person and contact them first, if you miss them chances are they miss you too. Give them a text and apologise for not talking to them in a while and take ownership for your wrongdoings. Talk about the good times you had in the past to spark a conversation that isn’t awkward. Maybe arrange to meet up for a coffee too.  

1. Make sure the past is in the past  

You have to make sure the past is completely behind you and there are no grudges, this is crucial because you can’t move forward if they’re still living in the past. Communicate your differences and worries clearly and work on them, this is better to do in person. Although it can be stressful and frustrating try not to lose your temper, listen, be empathetic and allow them to get everything off their chest. If things are out in the open and properly worked through then things will start to go wrong in the friendship again.  

1. Be patient  

Don’t expect things to be fixed straight away, like with romantic relationships you have to take things slow. Allow your friend to process their emotions and give them the time they need. Respect that they want time and try not to be upset with them for it. Take it as a pace that you are both comfortable with and give time for it to form into place. Trust me your friendship will benefit from this massively and you may even be closer than before.  

1. Don’t see it as a failure 

Don’t be hard on yourself if the friendship fails, sometimes people grow too far apart and aren’t compatible anymore. Everything will work out if it’s meant to be and if not then its probably for the best. Don’t beat yourself up over it, you managed to live without them before and you can do it now.  

Friendships ending can be just as upsetting as a relationship coming to an end, but don’t let it take over. It can cause trust issues and anxiety about future friendships if you let it. If you are unhappy in the situation tell them and try these tips to hopefully rekindle the friendship once again.