The importance of treating yourself like a friend

When I first sat down to brainstorm what to write for this article I laughed to myself. I thought it was comical that I was writing about how to treat yourself like a friend, after struggling with self loathing and distorted body image for years. I used to say “I hate myself” and truly mean it. 

After deep reflection I flipped my ways of thinking and decided I was a great person to write about this topic. I picked myself up at my lowest and kept going. I came to the conclusion that I am stuck in the body I have, for the rest of my life. I’m always going to have the same nasally voice inside my head. I may as well learn to enjoy my own company. 

Why should you?

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others”- Sonya Friedman. Once you master  loving yourself you will become better at loving others, and ultimately become a better partner, friend and sibling to others. 

Entering into any relationship needing complete validation and reassurance creates problems and puts a lot of pressure on the other person involved. You will never be completely happy having to rely on others for love and validation, this needs to come from within. 

Thinking of yourself as a friend puts things into a different perspective, especially when you’re at a low point in your life. If a friend was heartbroken,would you tell them that they deserve it and that they’re not good enough? No, you would offer compassion. Offering yourself the same care is a hard thing to do, but once you master it the hard days become bearable and you learn a greater appreciation for life.

How do you become your own friend?

Take a week and try new things each day, whether it’s going for a walk somewhere new, finding a new T.V show or listening to music you might not normally play. After the week is over, reflect and think back to what gave you that feeling of comfort and rush of warmth to your head. Whether it’s as simple as sitting down with a coffee outside, catching up on the latest soaps or relaxing and playing a game on your phone, find things you enjoy doing solo that bring you happiness.

Get the chocolate out, listen to sad music or watch a comedy when you’re going through something. It is important to release and process your emotions instead of suppressing your feelings. It’s also important to forgive yourself when you make mistakes in life,it’s human to mess up. 

Look in the mirror and embrace your features. Accept the little bump on your nose or your smaller lips.Try putting in an effort into what you wear every once and a while and acknowledge that you look good. Build confidence in yourself.

It is an amazing thing to become comfortable spending time alone every so often. You give yourself a chance for personal development, inner self love and acceptance. As Rupaul famously says “If you can’t love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

• happiness
• self-care
• self-love