Whenever anyone hears the word “break” in relation to a relationship, we all think of Ross from Friends. And we all saw what that break looked like on TV, but is it actually an effective way to repair a relationship? Coming from someone who has taken a break and broken up, let’s review what I learned from both.
The inevitability of this situation is that there are always two sides to a coin, two different trains of thought and a million ways the story could go. So yes, people could say a break is delaying the inevitable, prolonging the pain and asking for trouble. I’m not agreeing or disagreeing, but those people obviously don’t know the whole story.
Going on a break is the perfect opportunity to remove yourself from what could be a hostile and/or downright depressing situation. Going on a break allows you time to think about what has happened, or what hasn’t happened. It can sometimes be difficult to pinpoint your feelings in certain situations especially if there have been raised voices, tears, or an argument.
For me, going on a break gave me a chance to really sit down with my emotions and figure out where they were coming from and why I was feeling them so strongly. It gave me a chance to reset my mind and come back into the situation with a clear head and a clear idea of what I believed caused the break in the first place.
A break can honestly do wonders. Mine did, albeit for a month, but it still repaired what was broken. That being said, it did make me realise that I wasn’t completely happy. There were things in my relationship I wished would change and unfortunately, they just didn’t.
When I took the break from my relationship, I did not want to. But I knew I had to. I didn’t do it just for me, I did it for my partner. Neither of us was in the right state to discuss our feelings or emotions so my suggestion came down like a tonne of bricks. We both knew it was right at that moment and it definitely helped. I don’t regret taking the break, but I do wish, for my own sake, we had just broken up there and then.
Breaking up with your partner is a big move to make. It’s closing a chapter of your life and that’s going to hurt. I chose to break up with my partner because I could see they weren’t ready and/or willing to be the kind of person I wanted to be in a relationship with. We had differences, and they weren’t ready to compromise.
Breaking up with my partner was my last resort. I had put so much effort into trying to work on our relationship and got nothing in return. I was tired, I couldn’t do it anymore. So, after two and a half years, I broke it off. And God did it bloody hurt. It was horrible and I wanted nothing more than to pick up the phone and take it all back, which I do not recommend doing.
Basically, you have to make the choice that places your happiness, wellbeing and mental health at the top of your list. Maybe taking time away to regroup and coming back fresh will be the right choice for you or maybe breaking up will be what is best. The thing is, you’ll never know what’s best until you make the decision. It’s how life and living work.
A part of living is hurting, but another part is loving. So, lead with joy and love in your decisions. Because at the end of the day, I can’t tell you what to do! I’m one person who’s well versed in both. But just because my experience with these scenarios went one way doesn’t mean they will for you. Choose your own path, do not put energy into something that doesn’t double it in joy.
Your happiness is your currency in life, don’t spend it on something that is overpriced.