A few weeks ago, I was walking around campus with my friends. We were looking for a particular room, and after quite a bit of wandering, we were about to give up. Just then, I noticed something in the grass—a small, smooth, pebble-like grey stone nestled among some shrubbery and flowers. When I read the writing on the stone, it took my breath away.
In the week following that discovery, I’ve reflected on the different stages of grief that we all go through in life. Grief comes in many forms: it might be the grief over a friendship, the grief of not doing well on an assignment, or the profound grief that comes from losing someone close to us. Sometimes, this grief can feel overwhelming, like being trapped in a room with no doors or windows. Other times, it can feel like nothing at all. However we process grief, I’m sure we’ve all felt it at some stage or another, and often, it feels like no one else in the world could understand. But the most important thing to know is that there are always people we can talk to.
But how do we overcome grief?
I think this question is one that poets and playwrights are still trying to answer. And perhaps the honest answer is that there is no single answer. Some people turn to faith for comfort, some seek professional help, and others might try to avoid their feelings altogether. What matters most is knowing that there’s no “wrong” way to process life’s challenges. Often, it’s through talking to others who have experienced the same kind of loss that we begin to find peace.
When I found that stone, I reached out to the Instagram account mentioned on it, and it turned out to be one of the most enriching things I’ve ever done. I learned more about Laura, the woman in whose memory the stone was placed. Laura was a mother of two young children who passed away on the 14th of June 2022, due to secondary breast cancer. These stones are a way for her family and her children to remember her, and by spreading them across the country, strangers can also learn about Laura’s story. I feel so fortunate to have become part of this journey and to honour her memory. But the most crazy part? This stone started off in Scotland, and made it’s journey to Dublin.
When I think of Laura I also think of my own grandmother, whom I lost about nine months ago to triple-negative breast cancer. It was one of the most devastating experiences of my life. Just four months after that, my grandfather also passed away. I remember receiving the call at 4 a.m. in New York and the rush to book flights home just so we could say goodbye. It’s an experience that will stay with me forever, and it’s still something I struggle to accept. But in moments like these, I think of Laura and others like her, whose memories live on through the legacies they leave behind—their children, their families, and the stories that honour them. It is our job to keep their memory alive, just like how Tony, Aden and Hallie do for Laura.
When We becomes Me: July 2022 – With permission from her loving family, I urge you to read more about the amazing women Laura was.
In the end, discovering Laura’s stone reminded me that grief, while deeply personal, is something that connects us all. Each of us carries memories and stories that help keep the people we’ve lost alive in our hearts. Finding ways to honour them, whether through small gestures or simply sharing their stories, gives us a path forward. While grief never fully leaves, we learn to live with it and find meaning in the memories that endure. And through those memories, we keep the love and spirit of those we’ve lost present in our lives.