Sex is normal. Wanting sex is normal. But do you want to know what’s not normal? Shaming someone, especially your significant other, for not being in the mood for sex. There’s this little thing we have called our libido, and yes we all have it. Your libido is this amazing thing that controls your emotional and mental energy towards sex. The reason for this is completely down to hormones.
We all go through a cycle. Yes, a woman’s cycle is different to a man’s but we all go through hormonal changes. These hormonal changes affect our libido massively and sometimes we’re just not in the mood to have a bit of fun under the covers. Everyone experiences sexual desires differently, so never be afraid to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling, it’s completely normal.
There are so many factors of life that can lower your sexual desire and these can range from anything that may be happening in your life, like any stress you may feel, a hectic schedule leaving you tired and drained or even emotionally and mentally not feeling yourself. All of these things happen to the best of us. Talking things out with your partner will help the situation.
Let’s say there’s a week where assignments have been piling up, and you just feel like everything is piling up on you. Sex will be the last thing on your mind and this is normal. Stress is a massive factor in how you’re feeling towards a lot of things and sex is one of those things. We all get stressed. Especially when assignments and the workload starts piling up. Don’t be ashamed for not being in the mood.
Or maybe you’ve had a long day at work which slowly turns into a long week. You’re going to feel tired, you’ll just feel drained and exhausted and it is completely okay to feel this way. Being mentally exhausted can completely change your mood and how you feel about yourself and it may also send some hormones into overdrive.
Lacking confidence in yourself happens. You could feel sexy as hell one minute and then be so insecure the next. It’s a vicious cycle but it happens. Being open with your partner about the emotions you’re feeling and just how you’re feeling, in general, is so important. Having sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Loving each other through the highs and lows, the good and bad is so important. The amount of times you and your partner has sex shouldn’t matter one bit and if it does and it’s putting a strain on your relationship you need to be open and have a chat with your partner.
Being in love is amazing, you get to spend time with someone who’s your best friend. You get to laugh and experience some of the best moments together. Don’t get caught up in what society thinks is natural. Not wanting to have sex or rip your partners’ clothes off every second of the day is very normal and it is all down to our lovely libido.
Talk to your partner. Talking is so important in every aspect of life.