If sitting in a cinema, feeling awkward with a constant ‘good lord’ reaction is your idea of a great night out, then this film is for you.
Fifty Shades Freed, the conclusion to what we should only call a questionable trilogy, continues for one last time with its over-bearing theme of ‘man power’. Christian Grey, played by the wonderful Jamie Dornan, who actually seems like a good actor in his other roles, assumes his position of the ‘dominant’. Although Ana (Dakota Johnson) tries her very best to rebel against her new husband, it never really works for her. It seems that a simple thing of Ana meeting her friend for a cocktail is way too much freedom for Mr Grey. This embarrassing and somewhat belittling theme, really peers through most of this film.
The wedding ceremony itself, has a very ‘twilight saga’ feel to it, which is not that unusual as the trilogy was originally a fan-fiction of Twilight. How and ever, be original. We’ve all seen The Twilight Saga and we were freaked out enough by that without having a pretty obvious re-make being thrown in our faces.
If Fifty Shades Freed is an honest depiction of marriage, then I can guarantee you, you’ll never see me in a white dress. A honeymoon to Paris, with some scenes of very timid, very missionary-type sex is all that this romantic trip to Paris gives us. That, and more of Christian’s over powering need to constantly ‘protect’ and cover up his bride of course.
The ‘Red Room’ pops its ugly little head up again in Freed. The red room which, is supposed to be a room of pain and sexual ‘torture’ is yet again depicted as merely a colourful place to have some more very timid sex. Fair enough, we do see Ana being shackled to the wall, very sexy indeed, but if licking Ben & Jerry’s off your husband’s chest is S&M, then I’m afraid I have some homework to do.
Christian’s continued ‘ownership’ over Ana is something else that continuously mind boggles me. In a film where, hardcore sex is supposed to be the main course, it is merely served as a side dish to a man literally owning a woman. Ana’s continuous rebellious streak is the only good thing about Freed, well, that and Dornan’s Abs but I guess that’s a given.
All in all, if you’re bored on a Wednesday evening and looking for an eyeful of some real Irish goodness, then I suggest you get watching Fifty Shades Freed. However, if you’re only in it for some sex tips – I recommend avoiding this ‘mom porn’ phenomena and experimenting all by yourself.
After all – who really needs a dedicated room?
Photo by Felix Mooneeram on Unsplash