Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of hate online towards Carrie Bradshaw. While I understand and have noticed for myself that she often gives herself too little credit, her most significant mistake—at least as I see it—is not confronting people when she has something to say. Instead, she just waited, huffed and puffed, and either hoped the problem would go away, or for the white knight to come and save her, or overthought her situation to the extent that everything fell apart. And unfortunately, I’ve caught myself doing the same thing far too many times.
The truth is, most women follow Carrie’s example as much as we condemn her for it. We don’t talk; instead, we pout and hope that the other person realizes what’s wrong, fixes it, and apologizes. I hope it’s clear that this isn’t possible, as much as we’d like our boyfriends to always know what they did wrong and never do it again. Making mistakes is a part of being human, and the healthiest way to resolve them is through talking about them!
Communication is often overlooked because people are too proud, too tired, or too busy to have an honest conversation. Any conversation, really. You don’t have to agree with the other person; just have the decency to respect their opinions and experiences and recognizing that they may not align with yours. A conversation doesn’t have to result in a specific conclusion; simply laying all your cards on the table for your partner to see brings you a step closer. Why would you choose to be dishonest with your significant other and play mind games?
But communication is key to any relationship, whether platonic or familial. I believe that the strongest bonds are formed between people who are not afraid to talk freely with each other, where it’s okay to make mistakes because there is always room for improvement, which in turn strengthens the relationship. And while I understand that you may see no point in confronting your family, you owe it to yourself to stand up for what you believe in and advocate for your own needs.
Lastly, perhaps the most difficult conversation for anyone to have is with themselves. Because at the end of the day, it’s just you and yourself. You may be able to lie to everyone else, but deep down, you know the truth. We need to start not being afraid of our feelings; too many people nowadays shut their feelings down and hide behind their phones, but that’s no way to live. Being honest with yourself is the only way to achieve self-love.