Okay so, the big secret is out. You don’t need a romantic partner.
You can live perfectly happily without one. There are some things you can get in a romantic partner that you can’t get in a friend, family member, or acquaintance. But I think you can pretty much find those things in yourself, or in other people who do not become your partner.
But I must say, a partner in crime is damn handy to have. I didn’t have one for years, and searched frantically for one in people who didn’t care to be my partner in crime.
But what exactly is a partner in crime? This is certainly something you should consider before opening yourself up to getting a partner in crime (note: I say “opening up” not “searching for” or something like that, do not search for a partner. You are wonderful on your own.)
So, a partner in crime. Someone who (if needed) could help you bury a recently and suspiciously deceased body, right? Maybe not. But someone who supports you through thick and thin, who has access to skills, opinions and viewpoints that you don’t have, and who gives it all to you in a caring and understanding way.
My number one priority for this ‘partner in crime’ scenario is to have a way of being well rounded and supported. Someone who backs you up, who you can back up. I don’t care if it ounces cheesy: someone who’s soul syncs up with yours in a kind of harmony. It’s rare to find. You need to get someone who gets you, and vice versa, and then you’ve got yourself a partner.
You can find this in a parent you’re particularly close to, a friend, a freakin’ tinder match, it can be found anywhere. As long as you leave yourself open to connections on a semi-deep level, you’ve got yourself a world of possibilities.
The idea that the only lifelong companion worth having is a romantic partner is ridiculous, especially with dogs in the world.
But often romance is where you find the person who fully connects with you, or where you two end up. There is some merit to having a ‘best friend forever’ that you can also kiss on the mouth.
A partner in crime is not necessary, but it is wonderful. Do not be afraid to reach out for support. Do not fear vulnerability. Do not feel ashamed to put yourself first. There is no reason for any of these negative feelings. Don’t be afraid to alone.
Just go for it.
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