I’ve been to a lot of places over my 18 years of existence, and there is absolutely nowhere that compares to Jersey. Giving up great pizza and bagels (not BeGeLs @southjersey) was a sacrifice I had to make when choosing the University in Delaware, but thankfully more than half the student body is from New Jersey. Whether it be North or South (Central doesn’t exist), the people definitely make it feel like home. Every time I meet someone new, the normal first thing to ask is where he/she is from. If they respond “Jersey”, you immediately bond over how great it is. Once you ask which part, it is only then you will get into the great debate. Which one is better— North or South? My personal preference is North, but safe to say I may be a little biased. I’m a 30 minute drive to the city, 45 minutes to an hour from the beach, 5 minutes from a mall, the sopranos was filmed in my town and Sterling Shepard from the New York Giants lives around the corner from me, etcetera etcetera. I’m sure you would agree North is superior if you were in my shoes too. For all you non jerseyans, I am about to educate you on some very important subject matter— and if you are from Jersey, back me up. Here are a few signs that indicate that you live in NJ:
1. Chances are you have offended someone with your sarcasm and brutal honesty. Hey, shit happens.
2. Extremely aggressive Drivers. There is nothing more to it. Someone is most likely riding your ass even if you are going above the speed limit, or you just got flipped off despite the fact that it’s your right of way. By now everyone has perfected the art of driving 90 mph while staying as cool as a cucumber. 3. Going to “New York”? Never that! It is “the City”. Don’t get it twisted. Going upstate to visit family? Now that’s New York plain and simple.
4. Jersey invented cursing. Our first word was probably f*ck and our favorite three letters in the alphabet are W T F.
5. Dear South Jersey,
Please never talk about pork roll, hoagies, jimmies and water ice. It’s CLEARLY Taylor Ham, subs, sprinkles and Italian ice.
Thank you!
-North Jersey
6. We aren’t all Italian and 99% of Jersey is nothing like the Jersey Shore cast. Usually the first thing Non-Jersey people ask when you tell them where you’re from is “Do you know Snooki?”. No I don’t, but I actually have seen her at the mall.
7. Gold cards. They are the thing everyone wants, but only a handful are fortunate enough to have. If you get pulled over, this piece of plastic will get you out of any… I mean ANY ticket. Pray you marry a cop or are very close with one because most likely they would be a doll and give one to you.
8. Diners! Diners! Diners! They are every jersey residents go to food place and favorite hangout hub, especially after a night of partying. You will always see at least one person you know at a diner and that can be a good thing or a bad one. Pick your poison.
9. You pump your own gas? Can’t relate. One time I went to go visit my friend at college and on my way home my tank was running low so I pulled up to a gas station and was sitting in my car for at least 15 minutes before I remembered that people don’t do it for you. There I was, alone in the middle of Pennsylvania, googling “How to pump gas?” on wikihow with negative service on my phone. At least we know how to pump our fists!
10. “Going to the beach” is actually called “going down the shore”. It is typical for your whole town to migrate DTS for Memorial Day Weekend or after any school event. Which hotel in sleaze side are we going to after prom this year?
11. aRe YoU gOiNg To ThE hUnT? The Far Hills Race Meeting “The Hunt” is New Jersey’s holiday and you will find every private school kid in attendance dressed up in some fancy or preppy shit like Burberry and Vineyard Vines. Nobody actually watches the horse race, are there even horses? It is simply an excuse to dress up all boujee and get shitfaced with hundreds of people just like you.
For some hilarious, yet true Jersey content, check out @newjerseymemes on Instagram!