Honestly, whenever thinking about unrequited love, I always go back to the movie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was heart-wrenching to watch Charlie get his heart broken by Sam, wasnât it? It feels much worse when you are the Charlie in real life and havenât we all been there? (If you havenât, then I am happy for you and hope you donât need this article anytime in the future either :)Â )
Whether itâs someone you have been in love with since you were a kid or someone you have known and liked for just a few weeks, itâs heartbreaking to find out that they donât have the same feelings for you. Believe me, I have had my fair share of yin days of being in love and yang days of crying my eyes out. So hereâs some advice from someone whoâs been there, done that, and tried everything to get over unrequited love.
Don’t Rush it
First and foremost over everything I have to say about getting over a heartbreak. After hearing the not-so-magical words, i.e. âI donât feel the same way about you,â our first instinct is to immediately expect ourselves to start moving on and feel lesser for the person. But rushing the process is only going to make it harder. Instead, trust yourself and feel your feelings, whether itâs sadness, upset, anger, betrayal or anything else. As the writers of Fleabag say, âItâll passâ and so it will.Â
Donât undermine what you are going throughÂ
There are many people (myself included) who undermine how much heartbreak affects their lives. Like any other aspect of our life, our love life and the hurt we feel there are also âallowedâ to affect us and are important enough to deal with. Some days, when we might be feeling a little too down to do anything, itâs okay for heartbreak to be a reason to take a break and just be. Taking a little inspiration from Langston in âDash and Lilyâ who takes a break from college because heâs too heartbroken to study.
Prioritize yourself
There are times in our lives when we need to think a little more about ourselves and dealing with a broken heart is one of those times as well. If you need to be distanced from the person for a while to help you feel your feelings, then do that. If you need to talk to your best friends about it, then do that. This is probably a situation that is not affecting anyone else as much as you and so it makes perfect sense for you to get through it however you want.Â
Spend time with your friends
If you were anything like me in love, then you would also have spent a lot of your time invested in your love by being with the person, trying to woo them or even when with your friends, talking about them. The best way, at times, is to clear your head and have a good laugh with your closest friends. Go out, spend time doing things you love, distract yourself and just be. Go the extra mile to spend all that time with your besties now!Â
Try the classics
What better time to be a little cheesy and try some of the good olâ heartbreak cures?
Watch a sad movie. Watch a happy movie. Eat ice cream straight out of the tub. Listen to songs about heartbreak. Cry. Reminisce. Nothing is too cheesy, nothing is too much. Be a little dramatic. Itâs not every day that youâll even feel that shattering feeling (or that bittersweet one that will follow for sure).
With this, I hope reading this piece has provided a little comfort to someone out there whoâs nursing a broken heart and even if it didnât, I hope you do get through it. Because trust me, once you do, youâre only left with happier, gold-tinted memories or maybe even a few laughs if you think the person wasnât worth it. But I wouldnât say the process wasnât worth it because I believe it makes you a new person and it always comes back to you in ways and experiences much better than you expect.
P.S. Here’s my heartbreak playlist if you ever feel like staying in sadness for a bit :’)