Trigger Warning: Mention of Drugs, Alcohol Abuse, Substance Use and Addiction, Mental Illness
Julia Fox, an Italian-American actress, model, and internet personality, is best known for her breakout performance in her debut film in 2019 Uncut Gems, for which she received a nomination for the Breakthrough Actor Award. Born in Milan to an Italian mother and an American father, Julia Fox has established herself as a distinctive figure in pop culture through her mastery of social media and trendsetting style. Fox’s memoir, Down the Drain, is a testament to her raw authenticity and the myriad of choices and mistakes that have shaped her journey to where she stands today.
Julia’s narrative begins with the elusive notion of the American Dream, an ideal she never quite experienced. Raised between two continents, Italy and America, she navigated a childhood divided between her parents. From the tender age of four, Julia grappled with homelessness and the tumult of her parents’ relationship, often intervening to shield her younger brother from the chaos of their arguments. Her upbringing lacked the stability and normalcy most children enjoy, exacerbated by her early diagnosis of ADHD at the age of nine, which left her father dissatisfied. Relocating to America at a young age, Julia faced the challenge of adapting to a new language and culture. Her school enrolment only exposed her to bullying and ostracism, earning her labels like ‘freak’ and prompting visits to a psychiatrist as her behavior became increasingly erratic. Throughout it all, Julia struggled to reconcile the conflicts between her parents, a burden that weighed heavily on her young shoulders.
I squirm uncomfortably in my seat as the social worker’s question hangs in the air. “Do your parents often argue?” I hesitate, unsure of how to respond. “My dad once said my mom has mad cow disease,” I finally blurt out. With each visit to the social worker, I begin to realize that these encounters aren’t normal—they’re probing deeper and asking increasingly complicated questions that I struggle to answer. Determined to regain some semblance of normalcy, I resolve to put on a facade of composure.
From a young age, Julia is thrust into the harsh realities of life, discovering that parents, far from the idealized figures she once imagined, are fallible human beings prone to making mistakes. As her perception of life becomes increasingly distorted, she grapples with the unsettling truth that those meant to protect us can sometimes be the ones we need protection from.
Since childhood, Julia’s mother struggled to connect with her daughter on an emotional level, unable to share in her joys and sorrows. When Julia attempts to express her desire for a closer bond, her mother dismisses her, insisting that mothers and daughters cannot be ‘friends.’ Julia reflects, ‘I can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing out on something essential in life.’ These feelings of inadequacy linger, haunting her as she navigates through her formative years. Desperate to fill the void left by her strained relationship with her mother, Julia searches for maternal affection but finds herself unable to anchor her identity to her maternal figure.
Julia’s life has been nothing short of tumultuous. From grappling with the loss of loved ones to battling addiction throughout her adolescence, Julia’s upbringing has been marked by instability, often thrusting her into the unforgiving glare of the public eye. Her struggles with grief and illness have been exploited by both friends and foes, leaving her to navigate through psychiatric hospitals and AA meetings largely on her own.
The final chapter of her book, “Sudden Starfall,” delves into the relationship that thrust her into the circles of Hollywood’s elite: her connection with Kanye West. In reclaiming her narrative, Fox opts to refer to him only as ‘The Artist,’ a powerful choice that strips him of the name that holds significant influence, both in the media and the world at large. Through this decision, she asserts that her life story extends far beyond the narratives crafted by the media.
New York City plays a profound role in shaping Fox’s identity. Her relationship with the city evolves over time, fluctuating between moments of fading connection and renewed strength. Despite life’s twists and turns, New York remains her anchor—a place she inevitably returns to time and time again. Throughout her journey from girlhood to womanhood and eventually motherhood. Fox vividly captures the trials and triumphs of her life against the vibrant backdrop of New York City.
More than anything, Julia’s memoir serves as her voice—an assertion of her presence and a rejection of the public’s perception of her. She navigates the complexities of fame, from being forced out of New York to facing blacklisting in Hollywood, all while carving her path with unwavering determination. Her unwavering commitment to her craft is nothing short of admirable. Despite the limited choices she’s had to make for survival, growing up in the unforgiving streets of New York, Julia remains steadfast in her honesty, unapologetically embracing her true self. Her journey has been marked by sacrifice, with moments where she felt she had thrown her life down the drain in pursuit of identity and self-understanding. Yet, through it all, she refuses to let anyone diminish the hard-won sense of self she has cultivated.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, help is available. Contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
For mental health support, consider visiting the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website or call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264). For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). In emergencies, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911.