Commemorating the 21st anniversary of Kal Ho Naa Ho, we revisit this Bollywood classic to explore its themes of love, resilience, and the profound mental health lessons it offers.
Whenever somebody asks me about the gist of the movie, I sum it up as the story of an extremely happy-go-lucky man and an utterly pessimistic woman falling in love bound by the Omertà but cinematic- silent, sacred and eternal. The second lead, Rohit Gupta, brought the story a goofy and endearing charm. But twelve-year-old me did not see the plot twist coming- the second lead got the girl. Can you believe it? How dare they kill the king of romance! Cheesiness runs in his veins. How would Saif Ali Khan pull off the iconic neck sniffing as SRK did? Devastated doesn’t even begin to cover how I felt.
On 15 November 2024, the iconic Bollywood movie Kal Ho Naa Ho was rereleased in the theatres to commemorate its 21st anniversary. The 21-year-old movie resonated across generations for its peak storytelling, unforgettable performances, memorable soundtracks and poignant themes. Watching this timeless classic on the big screen at PVR cinema felt like an absolute treat. The movie is not a love story, but rather a story about love, loss, and resilience, with subtle mental health takeaways woven into its narrative.
But now that I have grown up, I don’t see this movie as a melodramatic rom-com anymore, it’s also a movie about cherishing, letting go and emotional healing, and somehow that makes it more meaningful and beautiful. Even without Aman in my life, the movie inspired me to celebrate life as though there is no tomorrow.
Aman was the reincarnated Anand “Babumoshai, zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahi” Sehgal, carrying forward his philosophy of living life to the fullest. His own popular dialogue, “Jiyo, khush raho, muskurao… Kya pata, kal ho naa ho!” carried the same infectious spirit. His presence was like a burst of colours in Naina’s dull, grey routine life. Even Preity Zinta, who brilliantly played Naina, mentioned that the scene where Aman encourages her character to let go of her burdens was one of her favourites, as it beautifully captures the essence of “gratitude and appreciating the present.” With softness, a caring attitude, and openness to emotions, Aman’s love was genuine and organic. His love for Naina wasn’t to keep her for himself, it was to embrace life and rediscover herself. For South Asian women, the man became the ultimate green flag- a man whose love was selfless and pure, underscoring the importance of healthy, uplifting relationships for emotional balance.
Aman accidentally confesses to his mother that he is in love with Naina but his terminal disease is the reason why he has to let go of her. It was heart-wrenching to watch him play the selfless Cupid, orchestrating the love story of Rohit and Naina and quietly stepping away from his own happiness.
But while swooning over the dying lover, we always forget to appreciate the unrequited lover- Rohit Gupta. When Naina confesses her love for Aman, interrupting Rohit’s proposal, he doesn’t become angry or wallow in self-pity. Instead, he graciously steps back and hands her the bouquet to pass it on to Aman. After learning that Aman has a wife, he doesn’t exploit her vulnerability when he lends him her shoulder. He asks her a very simple, yet profound question, “Will you be able to love someone again?” Her silence and awkward smile say it all, which he accepts with quiet grace. Rohit is the kind of man women need, but all too often don’t deserve. When Aman requests Rohit to pursue Naina, he uses his ek tarfa pyar strength to reproduce more love, which he believes is enough to sustain both he and Naina. Instead of becoming helpless and hopeless like Anjali from KKHH or obsessive like Rahul from Darr, he uses the “Pyaar dosti hai” analogy from the same movie KKHH to assure Naina that the first and last stages of love is friendship, which is something they both have. Eventually, Naina falls in love with Rohit, but he is cognisant of the fact that he’d always be second to Aman. Even during their wedding, he is very much aware that Naina is not shedding tears for leaving her home behind, but because she can’t be with her first love. For Naina, Rohit will always be the best friend who walked with her to MBA classes. In her last dialogue, Naina admits that she found a husband in a friend, and while it’s a painful stab to the heart, Rohit remains patient, hoping that his love will outlive him. Even when he doesn’t get his “I love you” back from her, after many years of their marriage, he still yearns for the reciprocation of his gentle love. When Aman is about to breathe his last, he asks Rohit to leave Naina for him in their next lives, and he silently obliges.
Another important theme of KHNH is the theme of loss and grief, which is embodied in Aman’s impending death. I bawl my eyes out every single time the scene plays. (Though to be fair, SRK’s eyes are enough to get me teary.) Aman’s death not only affected the people surrounding him but also the millions of fans who sat in front of the screen and had to process his death. Upon exiting the PVR, I couldn’t help but notice the red swollen eyes of many girls. There was no exchange of words, but in the shared silence, all of us mourned the loss of a fictional man who selflessly loved a woman. But the one person who struggled the most with Aman’s illness and his eventual death was Naina. Her grief was overwhelming as Aman had a huge impact on her life. Before Aman, she had to deal with the loss of her father to suicide and had isolated herself from everyone for years. Her key to a happy family was shattered until Aman came along and brought peace and stability to her life. When he died, it reopened the wounds of abandonment she had felt after her father’s death, but it also highlighted the importance of confronting grief as a pathway to healing. Adding to her pain was the guilt of not fully expressing her feelings when he was alive.
At the same time, Rohit was also about to lose his friend, his confidant. He had a special connection with Aman and losing him felt like he lost a part of himself. Denial took over as the reality of his friend’s impending death seemed impossible to accept, but when forced to confront the truth, he told Aman, “Sachai ka saamna kar sakta hu main, par yaadon se ladne ki taakat nahi hai.”
But, gradually, both of them dealt with his loss through the lessons he imparted. Both of their healing becomes deeply connected as they support each other through their shared loss. Their grief became a shared journey and together they found a way to honour his memory and move forward, shaped by his love and wisdom.
While I had fun sharing my take on the theme of love and loss in this movie, let’s delve into something more serious- the mental health lessons it offers:
Openness to Emotions
Kal Ho Naa Ho emphasises the openness of emotions whether you’re sad, happy, anxious or angry. Suppressing our feelings can cause unhealthy amounts of stress, pent-up anger and depression. The film teaches us to be vulnerable and express ourselves. Talking to someone close or just writing in the diary provides relief, fosters connection and makes us feel better about ourselves.
Accepting Change
The character of Aman is good at embracing the unpredictability of life and accepting that change is an inevitable part of life. I personally feel people refuse to accept change which results in heavy amounts of stress and emotional turmoil. Once you accept the inevitability of change, your mindset helps alleviate anxiety and adapt to new situations, fostering emotional grit. Once you embrace changes in your life, you can grow in life, and embrace many opportunities and meaningful experiences, which are important for good mental well-being.
Open Talks
Aman’s character is a striking reminder of how people hide their emotions behind a cheerful exterior. His constant smile and light-hearted demeanour masked the pain and struggle he faced, highlighting the importance of looking beyond surface-level interactions and understanding that everyone has their own battles. Prioritising mental health means checking in with other people and yourself and being in a space where emotional well-being is openly discussed. Once you normalise these conversations, it’d be easier to seek help from people and foster a culture of support and culture.
Acceptance of Death
Aman accepts his short time on earth with gratitude. Despite knowing his limited time, he chooses not to succumb to despair or self-pity. Instead, he focuses his energy on bringing people happiness and creating meaningful, lasting moments. He demonstrates that instead of fearing death, you can use it as a reminder to live your life purposefully, strengthen your connection with loved ones and prioritise what truly matters. This type of mindset is incredibly therapeutic as it reinforces that purpose can emerge in the face of uncertainty and adversity.
Kal Ho Naa Ho will always remain personal to me for its bittersweet message. If you ever find yourself sitting idly, take a moment to imagine Aman Mathur wearing his effortlessly raglan shirts, looking impossibly charming and singing about how ephemeral the world is. The tune, piano keys that sound like the very rhythm of a beating heart, turning every note into pure emotion, it captures the essence of his character- someone who knows the fragility of life and chooses to enjoy the joys of living, despite knowing that it’s fleeting. As the piano keys play the song of the heart that beats for both joy and sorrow, his story becomes a timeless lesson in embracing life, accepting change, and facing grief with strength.