Have you ever wondered how powerful your words are? How much they affect those around you? How a single phrase reflects the centuries of oppression and stereotypes? How an entire institution based on power and predominant roles is hidden in between the lines? Have you ever wondered how patriarchy is sown deep into us, that we stopped noticing the sexist phrases and let them become a part of our mundane everyday lives?
When we ask someone to ‘man-up’, we ascribe qualities like power and strength to the male gender alone, indirectly saying being a woman is weak and powerless. This leads us to the question of whether courage and power are solely based on someone’s gender. Our society never asks a woman to ‘woman-up’, which shows that only the male gender is capable of being in the positions of power and/or strength is an attribute one can only relate with men.
The consequence of this two-syllable phrase is two-fold – women are considered to be the weaker section of the society and men are deprived of the right to be emotional or tender, thus cultivating toxic masculinity in our society. A similar phrase that is used frequently and casually is – ” So who wears the pants in the relationship?” The phrase conveys that the partner who wears the pants ( i.e. – the man ) is more controlling and has an upper hand in the relationship; successfully hiding in between the lines – years of misogynistic thoughts. The phrase is essentially used to enquire the breadwinner (the person who earns more) thus explicitly stating that the breadwinner is dominant and the one in control of the other individual.
Yet another phrase that our liberal Gen Z is obsessed with is ” I do not have the balls to “. So apparently, one can only be confident and courageous if they have male genitals – for, in the past twenty years of mine in this world, I have never heard a single person say ” I do not have the vagina to – “. But on the other hand, P*ssy is the universal code word for calling out people for being scared or weak.
A man being called a woman is ridiculing and shameful, however one never hesitates to call a woman ‘the man of the house’, which instead is to be seen as a matter of pride. Toxic masculinity leads to emotional suppression in men, depression, extreme violence, and anxiety. Men aren’t allowed to express themselves or talk it out or cry because it would be contradictory to the preposterous narrative set by patriarchy.
What can you and I do at an individual level to bring about a change and free ourselves from the shackles of this age-old societal system? Well, for starters, one can refrain from using such sexist lingo, and encourage those around them to follow the same. It may not seem like a big drastic step, but it counts. These changes are being implemented in various college societies that engage in healthy discussions and aspire to create a change in the world around them.
During an interview regarding the use of gender-neutral phrases in the debating circuit, The President of the Hansraj Debating Society, 2019-20, Mayank Sharma, explains
“From what I know and have seen, there is a shift in such terms in the debating circuit. Increasingly, people are using gender-neutral words like ‘iron-person’. The transition is slow in, yet still, it is evident. More and more equity documents are using iron-person instead of iron-man. (Iron manning is the fairly infrequent practice of debating as a single debater, as opposed to a team)
Stuck in limbo quite literally means to be waiting in an intermediate uncertain period. Moving forward with any movement against patriarchy requires us to uproot it from its very roots, even if that means we start with the smallest steps. The process is a long, difficult, frustrating struggle, and it may take years before it is completely and fully abolished, but every single step counts. A proactive change in your lingo will lead to a change in your perception of society and its genders. We can’t change a narrative if they still use the same old conservative and sexist phrases, establishing a new status quo implores a change towards gender-neutral language and to scrap off the stereotypical phrases and idioms.