Mathew Perry
The following piece is a thread of thoughts from our authors, Apeksha Arya and Samiksha Sharma, expressing their reverence and love for F.R.I.E.N.D.S actor, Mathew Perry, who passed away on October 28, 2023.
Coping with the news of the loss
Apeksha Arya:
October 30, 2023- I had been sick for the past two days and was in hibernation. I hadn’t checked my social media handles and was blissfully unaware. My father is a defense personnel, therefore, among tons of other things; he consistently insists that I read the newspaper daily. So as usual, I woke up and went to the balcony in the morning, picked up the paper, and froze. The front page headline of Delhi Times read, ‘It’s the end of an era: Friends star Matthew Perry dies at 54’ with a picture of him, laughing. My mind went blank, and for a moment I wondered if I was still sleeping or if this was just a sick joke my subconsciousness was playing on me because this cannot be true, right?
Samiksha Sharma:
The morning of October 29, 2023, was strange. I woke up to the most heart-breaking and saddening news of Matthew Perry’s sudden death. It felt like a personal loss. I was completely shocked and numb. It was indeed a sad day for the billions of Chandler fans. The whole world was mourning, which clearly shows how much Matthew Perry impacted various lives through his amazing personality and the characters he played. This loss felt as if we had lost our collective friend. The most iconic and legendary show F.R.I.E.N.D.S was like a comfort show for many, but most importantly, it gave us the iconic character Chandler Bing. We were not ready for him to leave like this. It made us realize how much we all were attached to this character. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. was the first global TV show that I had ever watched. It instantly gave me a space for myself where I felt comfortable and needed no one else. I cried, I laughed and I learned. This show was where many young and lonely people found their friends in the characters. The news of the passing away of our favorite person felt so unreal that it made me wonder about the strangeness of life and the emotions that get attached to a fictional character. So much so that the actor’s loss hurts us to the core. I cried like a baby, and maybe, watching the show won’t feel the same anymore. We all will require some time to process this.
How F.R.I.E.N.D.S changed our perspective towards life: Recounting the favorite moments from the show
Apeksha:
“You have to stop the Q-tip when there’s resistance!”
This advice from Chandler has helped me a lot in life and is just one of the many things Perry’s character in the show, Chandler Bing, has taught me. The sarcastic, witty, but lovable Chandler is among television’s most famous and quotable characters.
It’s been nearly two decades since the TV show aired its final episode in 2004, and the gang bid adieu to their uncharacteristically large New York apartment – leaving fans with a gaping hole in their hearts. And while a lot has changed since then, one thing has remained constant: fans still can’t get enough of all things F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
I never to this day have watched a show this religiously, episode by episode. I just happened to stumble upon a scene one day, while scrolling through Instagram reels. It was the iconic scene wherein Chandler gets trapped in an ATM vestibule with Victoria’s Secret model Jill Goodacre (as herself) during a blackout. Chandler obsessed, goes over a series of self-talk on how to strike up a conversation with her. He then calls up Joey and communicates the situation to him using unintelligible noises. I’ll never forget this dialogue from that conversation, “If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you a mangled animal carcass, you take it.”
I remember laughing maniacally at that, and apart from it being funny it was helluva relatable. I thought, “Isn’t it ‘us’?”, tongue-tied, heart racing, under the pressure of making a good impression and spewing utter madness in front of our crush. That was the beginning and though I still haven’t watched full episodes of the show, I know all about how Perry was cast in the show, whom he had a crush on, all the bloopers, the interviews, EVERYTHING. And today when I know that Matthew Perry, the man who was the soul of Chandler Bing is no more, the feeling of loss is immaculate. Chandler’s witty and sarcastic sense of humor was a defining trait, something that kept me going.
He demonstrated that humor can be a powerful coping mechanism and a way to navigate through challenging situations. For example his “Could I be MORE…?” dialogues. He embraced his unique quirks and insecurities, teaching the importance of self-acceptance and that it’s okay to be different. Throughout the series, Chandler underwent personal growth and positive changes in his life, particularly with his career moving to an advertising job that he loved. He showed that it’s possible to make meaningful changes and improvements in one’s life.
Samiksha:
It’s going to take a while if I start recollecting what were the most beautiful or the best moments from the show because Chandler’s presence made every scene fantabulous. However, certain scenes are very close to my heart. All of those scenes where Chandler selflessly loved Joey, where he would do everything possible to make innocent Joey happy always won my heart. Even after struggling with many failed relationships, and amidst all the fears, doubts, and insecurities, his immense love for Monica was just beautiful. The dialogue where he said, “You’re a little high maintenance, but I love maintaining you“, to Monica, always left me wondering whether I would ever be able to get a person like Chandler. That convincing monologue where Monica wants a child, and he convinced the surrogate by telling her the most heart-warming line “You’re a mother without a baby“, always made my heart full. The scene where he said, “Hi, I am Chandler, I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable” and “I’m not good at giving advice, can I interest you with a sarcastic comment instead?” were funny one-liners that had a deep connotation, indicating that it’s okay to be a certain way, not everyone can be perfect but laughing at oneself and using sarcasm as a defense mechanism might help you. Mathew Perry indeed made the character unique and we can’t thank him enough for making our lives better. Thank you for letting us know that it’s okay to make mistakes, but you can always apologize for them. Be there for your friends whenever they need you and always support them. Be honest with your loved ones. It’s never too late to follow your passion. Thank you for teaching me all this. Whenever I felt low, this show came to my rescue, especially my favorite character Chandler played by Perry. He made us laugh through our saddest days and someone has rightly said “There’s nothing better than a world where everybody’s just trying to make each other laugh.”
Ways In Which We Would Like To Remember Mathew Perry <3
Apeksha:
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. revolved around the importance of friendships, and Chandler’s character exemplified the loyalty, support, and camaraderie that true friendships offer. Chandler’s complicated relationship with his father, Charles Bing (also known as Helena Handbasket), illustrates the diversity of family dynamics and the importance of acceptance. While he often used humor as a defense mechanism, Chandler also displayed moments of genuine kindness and selflessness, reminding us that even the funniest people can have big hearts.
Chandler Bing shaped us and helped us become better person, who is there for his friends even when he is in crisis. Even though Matthew Perry has gone on an excursion to make the dwellers of heaven laugh, he will always live among us through Chandler.
Could he BE any more unforgettable? Matthew Perry, through his humor and talent, etched himself into our hearts as Chandler Bing, and his legacy as a beloved actor and comedian will continue to bring laughter and inspiration to generations.
Samiksha:
Matthew Perry’s sudden death reminded me of one line from an old Bollywood song, “Ki marr ke bhi kisi ko yaad aayenge, kisi ke aansuon mein muskarayenge…. (That even after my death someone will remember me, I will smile through someone’s tears…)“. The ultimate friend, the laughter in our lives, the funny guy who knew how to love people right, Chandler was just perfect. Matthew Perry gave the world one of television’s best comedic performances and comfort characters. There’s always going to be a space in our hearts reserved for him. He taught a generation that it’s okay and cool to laugh at yourself. He had different kinds of issues in life, whether it was related to attachment or intimacy, childhood problems, or insecurities. But we never felt pity for the character, because we were busy laughing at probably the most funny one-liners or sarcastic jokes of Chandler. That’s what the beauty was about the character. Chandler was like a best friend to many who had watched the show, but most importantly, to even those who didn’t watch the show, the character seemed relatable, funny, and relevant. It taught us the most important things in life.
Matthew Perry completely justified the role and damn, it must have been tough to stay funnier all the time. The show which started in 1994 is still relevant for us, even after decades. Chandler was the kind of friend that everybody deserves to have in life. Whenever he thought about his future, it always included Joey. Chandler and Joey’s friendship is so pure and perfect that everybody dreams of having it. He was also the kind of partner that everyone would die to have. He did set the bar so high when he was with Monica and proved to us that when we find the one in our lives, no matter what, pure and true love would overpower everything. His beaming smile made us forget all our worries and his witty humour was probably the only reason to watch the show again and again. Dear Chandler, Thank you for filling the lonely corners in our lives, and for telling us what green flags mean in a world full of red flags, the guy who made us laugh the most. You’ll forever live in our memories and although death is the harshest and inevitable truth of life, it just hurts to see our favorite characters going away like this. End of an era, indeed! You’ll be missed, Chan-Chan Man!
Rest in peace, Mathew Perry. We love you!