Have you ever been drained by just looking at somebody in authority? This could be because of the constant pestering that the person does on a daily bases. The transition from school to college and then from college to a professional workplace can bring a lot of questions about self-worth. Meeting seniors who bully you can make the situation even worse. Bullying isn’t always in the conventional form. It is sometimes a portrayal of negative body language. Taking credit for your work, or using you as a scapegoat is enough to get you distressed. This is harassment and it can cause significant damage to your emotional and psychological health. “Bullying in the workplace is similar to the school playground in that people are being demeaned or exploited,” says Lynn Taylor.
During a webinar on “Brain Power” by “Daniel Goleman, he discussed that the traits of a bully can be in any position of your workplace but when it is your senior, they can exploit their position to enhance the power of their abuse. Bullying can have many prolonged effects on your professional and personal life. You end up losing the confidence to speak out your thoughts, develop anxiety issues, or maybe even jeopardize your job. In an article by Stav Ziv, in The Muse, the types of workplace bullies are divided into four different categories; The Screaming Mimi (Think: Aggressive Communicator), The Constant Critic (Think: Disparagement and Humiliation), The Gatekeeper (Think: Manipulation and Withholding of Resources) and The Two-Headed Snake (Think: Behind-the-Scenes Meddling). It is best to get away from such situations as soon as possible to avoid excessive mental trauma. In colleges, the clubs are equivalent to a workplace environment. Here, at times, the people in authority mistreat their subordinates by threatening, humiliating, or verbally abusing them. When you go for internships, bullying is very common. The senior workers tend to unintentionally or sometimes even intentionally abuse the interns as they are young and have no experience in the work environment. When the trauma is given at a young age, the damage can last your whole life.
The best solution to this is to use your emotional competence and mindsight to deal with the problem as soon as possible. Self-awareness is primary. In the webinar by Daniel Goleman, he says the first step is to know how you feel about the whole situation. You might feel scared or angry at that person. He terms it as “amygdala hijack.” During a hijack, the part of your brain which controls your emotional reactions take charge and it overrides the calmer, thinking part of your brain. Your brain can immediately suggest you to flight, fight or freeze. However, all of these things can worsen the damage and make it even more difficult for you to survive in that environment. If you fight back with the same energy or manner, you end up exacerbating the situation. On the other hand, if you flee from the situation or freeze, then you give out the idea that the bully was successful in victimizing you and you won’t ever say anything against them. This is where your emotional intelligence comes in if you have trained your mind in the right manner through the techniques of regular relaxation and meditation. You can take deep breaths and maybe take a break of 20-25 minutes and then when you have your emotions in control, the next step is to just stay calm and talk to them, explain to them what your problems are and how it is affecting you.
The next step is to be aware of your surrounding and empathize with other people who are suffering from the same problems. The solutions may take some time, but for the time being, talk to other people around you and discuss your problems. If there are others dealing with the same situation as you, it will help you stay calm and will make the situation tolerable. If you surround yourself with your friends who support you then you can cope much better. The bully might as well take a step back if they acknowledge that you have the support. You can all go and talk to someone who has higher authority and can help you figure out a solution.
“If you see it, you know it’s happening, and you don’t do anything, you are giving permission for this person to act that way with your silence,” said Zundel in the article on The Muse. As college students, we must be very careful that our very first days of work do not leave us uncomfortable and anxious.