“Newton’s law of isolation: A body at rest will continue to be at rest…until the wife notices and finds some work for him!”
You have probably come across such messages on WhatsApp during the lockdown period and many months (years, honestly) following it. Thanks mom and dad. I have found myself questioning the degree to which such jokes are deemed to be called “witty” or simply “funny.” When does it broach that thin line of going too far? But sir, yeh toh India hai. Such jokes form a part of the basic jargon in everyday conversations with family and friends.
“Too far” is a subjective term.
Consider it a good thing that you appear to have a moral compass (based on your desire to ask the question, if you have one). Comedians who shock just for the purpose of shocking lack both talent and bravery. They’ll hide behind an adage that says “if you’re offended, you’re weak or don’t have a sense of humour.” If you frequently say, “It was simply a joke,” you’re missing the point that a good joke (or story) should be obvious. That is, if you possess the necessary talent and the courage to accept responsibilities.
Despite the fact that the medium for transmitting humour has changed, disparagement humour that reinforces patriarchal ideals follows a similar pattern. Gender identities, preconceptions, and performances, as well as the meanings connected with gender nonconformity, are all used to communicate. Its omnipotent character indicates its role in social control by upholding cultural bias against negative stereotypes, which is framed as a violation of cultural propriety. Men and women who resist established gender conventions, which force people to play gender in a prescribed manner, are at the centre of these jokes.
Disparaging humour legitimises dominating groups in order to maintain their power. It offers tacit confirmation of prevalent gendered stereotypes by labelling it as frivolous and amusing. The response to its criticism has also been viewed with scepticism. Someone who lacks a sense of humour or who is a perfectionist may be discarded. The call for empathy has become one of the most important adjustments in the worldwide epidemic. In the form of “helping” with chores, this rhetoric has mediated household settings. The absence of men in domestic duties has recently been questioned in India’s media. Ariel’s campaign, which encourages men to #ShareTheLoad (BI India 2020), is an example, albeit it is not yet the standard for most middle-class households. Because many men worked outside the home, they were not obligated to help with household tasks. This mitigating factor has been removed due to the lockdown. This, combined with women’s increased workload, has compelled them to participate. The imposition on the guy to share household responsibilities is depicted in the following meme, which features a man relaxing in a hammock.
The image of the resting man exemplifies spouses’ resistance to taking care of household tasks. According to the meme, a husband must be instructed and reminded of the errands he is supposed to complete. Clearly, his wife bears the most of the blame, as she is responsible for both the work and the prodding. While the lady is depicted as controlling, the guy is not depicted as being oppressed. Rather, by emphasising his reluctance and establishing his participation as choice, it relieves him of his obligations and exempts him from participating in domestic labour as an equal. In this meme, the wife is depicted as a non-normative figure that constantly bothers and pesters him for work.
Disparagement humour represents a paradox. While it conveys a disparaging message, it is obscured by the essence of humour, which removes any prejudice and reduces it to a trivial affair. This form of humour is dangerous since it is harmless and not directed at anyone in particular, yet it is recognised by all because it is deeply embedded in society. A prevalent assumption is that guys are the only ones who participate in and consume such humour. Memes are a byproduct of our daily lives and culture. They use humour to perpetuate and maintain gendered identities. These memes are dominated by two main topics. First It depicts the wife’s efficiency amidst the aggravation of being overworked, as well as her emotional fortitude to handle home tasks on her own. The other exemplifies masculinity’s embodiment in resisting, negotiating, or subverting men’s participation. Some groups hold a unique social position known as “changing acceptability” by social psychologists. The general culture is shifting away from seeing prejudice and discrimination against these groups as totally legitimate to seeing them as completely unjustified. Even when society as a whole becomes more accepting of them, many people still have mixed sentiments about them.
Where in Indian popular culture can one find a person like Richard Pryor, who utilised comedy to speak the unsayable and expose America’s ugly face of racism and the huge disparities that it spawned? And how much longer will we praise Kapil Sharma’s “plebeian” comedy while refusing to see the ugliness of our own society in the mirror?