The general understanding of “romance” in Hindi films is surrounded by the idea of a prince charming crossing all the boundaries and helping the damsel in distress, his lover. But is it merely about a guy and a girl falling in love and living “happily ever after”? Not really. Love is an emotion that of course unfolds in a different way for each person. Yet, there are certain universal elements common in all healthy relationships- respect, understanding and trust. This is exactly what Bollywood defies in the portrayal of its “ideal” relationships which are actually toxic in nature. Stalking, possessiveness, humiliation, controlling behavior, all in the name of love has been justified by films to the extent that people have both normalized as well as internalized it, that this is how a relationship is “supposed to work”.
Over the years most of the Bollywood films have centered around this idea only and I have chosen a few reputed Bollywood fils to further substantiate my point-
1. SHAADI KARKE PHAS GAYA YAAR-
Despite knowing about her profession before their marriage, Ayaan stops Ahana from working in the modeling industry and puts restrictions on her clothing style. He constantly compares her with his mother and considers her to be a baby producing machine. Even the right to whether carry on with the pregnancy or abort the baby isn’t left with her and she’s forced to carry the baby. Ayaan is just a guy with a huge male ego and only after apologies from his wife and her promise to be “Sanskaari Bahu” does he take her back in. There is no respect and even his “love” is based on dishonesty as he pretended to be a different person altogether by using Ahana’s diary. He even slapped her when she revealed about this in a party after getting drunk.
2. ISHQ VISHQ
Rajiv, a desperate wannabe in college asks Payal, his childhood, friend to pretend to be his girlfriend and go on a trip with him so that he can become a “popular” boy. After getting drunk there, he misbehaves with Payal and this act of his was later “justified” as his drink was spiked and Payal apologizes for shouting at him earlier but he asks her to kiss him in front of everyone. He clearly doesn’t realise his mistake and to be “cool” starts dating another girl by pretending to have some higher connections. In the end, he again manages to get Payal back.
Though the depiction is mostly of a man showing these attributes but some female characters too have proven to be the toxic ones.
3. JAB WE MET
Have you ever thought that even Geet could be a toxic person? Well it seems so…
Without telling Anshumaan that she wants to get married to him as soon as possible and has run away from her home, she expects him to be prepared and think exactly what she is thinking. Not that the guy has a career to make, a family to explain, and of course an overhyped girlfriend to be calmed down. Geet hasn’t given any space in their relationships and is missing the aspect of communication and knowing what the other person believes in is important to keep growing together. What is his fault in saying that “sapno ki duniya” is fictional, he may have witnessed the harsh realities of the world, or is a very pragmatic person. Lastly, if she loved Aditya then couldn’t she just tell Anshuman and confess to Aditya? Why to kiss him in front of Anshuman? Why make a show out of it, what is there to prove? Cheating?
Even today this hasn’t stopped at all. Films such as Kabir Singh are a clear example of this. The girl has to be submissive and listen to her boyfriend who can be toxic, violent, abusive, not just towards her but her parents as well because that’s what a loveable relationship is like according to Bollywood.
It’s high time that the Hindi Film industry should actually introspect about the content they provide as the audience is getting more and more open minded. For instance, the film “Dil Dhadakne Do” is an apt example that talks about relationship issues, failed marriages, male ego etc. through an accurate representation of the same.