A Hallows’ Eve Faux Pas: Finding Solace in Graveyards

So, why did I visit a graveyard on Halloween? If I wasn’t there to grieve, what possible pleasure could have derived from a place that bridges the void between the living and the dead, the past and the present? Was it because I was listening to sad song, or did it seem just pretentious enough for a trendy-pixie-dream-girl in her late teens?

The dawn of 31st October brought the hankering for some cheap thrills which panned out to be classic cemetery tourism with people who were just as curious as I was. For scare-seekers like us, someone jumping out of a mask or the quintessential cosplay simply did not do the deed. Wandering among the headstones, we sought to feel the eerie sense of shifting time among the gloomy glades of dark trees and tales of triumph and glory but what we got was a kaleidoscope of butterflies, the smell of daisies and the wonderful repository of architecture and ambiance. As we dot past the narrow path, fresh grass and dew welcomed us into the arms of tragedy with nothing but tranquility and warmth. Life seemed to bloom in death’s mausoleum only to leave us with an existential awakening where each grave represented a life. Relationships, successes, struggles, losses- it all comes down to that one terminal but inevitable moment. 

“Remember you are dust, and to dust shall you return.”

Reputedly stuffed with vampires, ghouls and ghosts, the cemetery is almost certain to deliver a successful encounter with the dead. Having to remember them in a multiplicity of ways makes these places even more fascinating to explore. While the existential respite offers to be a macabre undoing, a single graveyard stroll translates into contemplating the sheer staggering genius of the previous generations dictated by the local customs wherein the point of the tombstone is for the mourners to be left with something of you after death. If only this token of remembrance was put forth in these times, Halloween would’ve been scarier than reality altogether. Death surrounded us but rather than being scared to wits it felt like we were not alone, just like anyone there. Still heartbreaking as it was, there was some comfort in knowing people have experienced this over and over again. The holiday was in its true spirit here even with the ‘spookiness’ not being in the picture at all. 

Prior to the Feast of All Saints Day comes, Hallows Eve aka Halloween has now become the time of exploitative commercialization and cheap thrills. Notwithstanding the ornate architecture, the real draw for most people is to celebrate ghosts and goblins in the spirit of Halloween. Perhaps what makes this whole practice wrong is the disruptive presence of people. One forgets that no matter how captivated you are with the macabre and the whole idea of the holiday, respect for the deceased should always come first.

Always mentioned in travel blogs and otherwise considered as a basic human courtesy, there’s one kind of picture that is best avoided at all times: the selfie. Ethical photography didn’t seem to cross our minds that day which wronged the otherworldly there in every way possible. Trying to prove that we were there felt more like a priority to curate our Instagram feed and family photo albums. Although ultimately, it is the motivation for taking the picture that matters. To sum up our ‘morally ambiguous’ doings per se, this line between ethical excursion and exploitative commercialization was blurred but not with the intention to do so. The behavior that flew was from a respectful intent along with imbibing the beauty of the place.

The ending of a traditional ghost story may not always be a twisted one but it can leave a person feeling somber. The day too celebrated the true sense of Halloween, the one night of the year when the world of the living and the world of the dead are intertwined.

The question of why I visited a place of mourning started with a typical flare for experiencing something different, but it was the vast panorama that left me with this entire notion. Yes, just because Oscar Wilde’s tomb is covered with kisses doesn’t mean Halloween should be a reason to erode someone’s existence. 

• ethical photography
• existential respite
• halloween