From celebrating alongside your husband on your wedding day wearing red, to mourning beside his funeral pyre wearing white, the worst is yet to come in the life of an ‘Indian widow’.
The taboo regarding widowhood in India is yet another product of patriarchy. The mistreatment and persecution of widows in society started with the onset of the later Vedic period back in 1000 BC and is prevalent even today. According to popular culture, widows are expected to wear the colour white, shave their heads, get rid of any ornaments and live a celibate life. They are not even allowed to attend weddings or any kind of celebrations as their presence is considered inauspicious.
Another concerning aspect in the life of a woman in white is the stigma regarding remarriage. According to society, a woman who is not bound by the marital ties is in a noncomforming social position of being unrestrained and is observed as a danger to society’s stability. A widow who remarries is considered unfaithful towards her dead husband. Seriously? What ridiculous thoughts to have!
Such bizarre beliefs of people always render me speechless. How can an unfortunate event of the death of a man be the reason for a lifetime of misery for a woman. Some sections of society even believe that the sins of her previous birth are responsible for a woman’s widowhood. How can a wife be responsible for the death of her husband? People need to understand that widowhood is not a choice, it is an unfortunate and inevitable part of someone’s life.
Red is the color of Hindu culture. Red color is worn by a woman at her wedding. The vermilion or ‘sindoor’ worn on the forehead is an open declaration of the marital status of a Hindu lady. Over the centuries, red evolved as a symbol of matrimony. From bindi to bangles to toe rings, red is everything for a married Hindu woman. Red is revered by Hindus due to the vibrance and power it holds and therefore, Devi or Goddess Durga is always seen wearing Red. However, for a widow forcefully cladded in white clothes by the norms of Patriarchy, red is a bygone essence of her life. How did her life go from multi-colored to monochrome?
Surely, the death of a partner is one of the greatest loss in anybody’s life but shouldn’t the same go for the husband as well or is the death of a wife not a big deal at all for she can be easily replaced. Afterall, I am not sure whether people look for an emotional and lifelong bond with their wives or rather for her cooking and child-producing skills. Sadly, patriarchy does no good and justice to a woman’s life.
The mistreatment of widows in the name of traditions is the height of misogyny. Can you imagine a woman not being allowed to worship God because her husband died. Yes, widows are not allowed to enter temples as it is believed they bring bad luck. However, from my point of view, all I can see is a Devi in white forbidden to worship the Devi in red.
So, for me, white is the color of grief not because it shows the loss of a husband but because it denotes a life of hardships, injustice and humiliation.