I’m a Theatre major. I will now hold for the next thirty minutes to listen to the SAME STUPID COMMENTS that I always get when I tell people that. Frankly, I’m tired of hearing them. The following are the top five comments I hear about my choice of major, and how I can combat them.
1. “Oh! So, you took the easy way out, huh?”
Oh, go fall in a hole. Theatre is not easy. Sure, sometimes we just go to class to watch other people perform, but most of the time we do so much stuff outside of class that isn’t just sitting and studying or going through a lab. Think of majoring in theatre as if you’re majoring in GROUP PROJECTS. Unless you’re specifically doing a monologue, every single assignment is a group activity. Don’t like group projects? Too bad. Welcome to theatre. So, if you think continuous scheduling, at minimum 8 hours of work per week outside of class, and dealing with other people is easy? Fine. You can go be petty over there. Also, unlike lots of other majors, we can’t just paraphrase things we learn to spit out for an exam. We must memorize and repeat the things we learn word for word.
2. “How do you memorize all of those lines?”
You just have to. It’s a basic skill. Stop asking, unless you really want to know. If you really want to know, everybody does it differently. Some people write them obsessively, others toss a ball around. Everybody has their own way of doing it, but it is a basic skill. You’ve got to do it in order to survive.
3. “So your majoring in being poor?”
Ohhhhhhhhhhhmyyyyyyyyyyyygoooooooooooddddd. Really? I have several issues with this comment. First of all, can you guarantee success in your major? You’re going to get a job the second you get out of college? Cool. Have fun with your crappy unpaid internship. Second, what if I said that to you? Why do people think it’s okay to beat on majors that don’t basically hand jobs to you by commenting on our financial futures? It’s really, really rude. Please stop. Third of all, stop reminding me of this. I already know how hard my future is probably going to be. I don’t do this to you, don’t do this to me.
4. “Oh you’re an actor! Do something for me!”
Let me just whip out a monologue or fake cry for you! Yes! I’m totally not a person, just a dancing monkey for your entertainment! Next time this happens, I’m going to ask a pre-med person to look at the spot on my butt. See how they like it.
5. “So what’s your backup plan?”
Nope. Don’t have one. Stop it. I’m going to do what I love, and I’m going to be great at it. Sure, it may take a while, and it won’t be easy, but I’m doing what I love, and frankly, it won’t be work. Not like a 15-hour hospital shift where you get vomited on constantly. Have fun with bodily fluids.