Let it be known by this point I’m pretty much done with dating apps.. But has a rapidly approaching sense of apathy ever stopped anybody from complaining? No? Then let’s continue.
So if you’ve ever seen a dating profile, a majority of them come with a picture, brief description of the person who made the account, a list of their interests, and where they are relative to you, if it’s location based. Below are ten of the most common profile photos I’ve encountered through many nights of swiping on Dating Apps.
This list is comprised of common things from ACTUAL profiles of both Tinder and Bumble.
1. The same picture five different times, with or without filters.
(Shout out to Obama! Miss you Barry)
Alright dude. We all have that selfie that we love. It’s got 50 likes on Insta, and it’s currently our profile pic on Facebook. However, like hot sauce, we use it sparingly for full effect. The same picture five times usually tells the swiper “Great photo, but does he have a personality?”
2. The NO SMILING photoset.
NO! NO! No way. If women on random street corners get told some stupid thing like, “You’d be prettier if you smiled,” or “You should smile more,” why do men think it’s attractive to be expressionless? Is it because they believe it makes them look tougher? Does the patriarchy really run that deep? Well, if you make assumptions about us not smiling, so are we. If a girl comes across a flatline faced photoshoot, we’re going to assume three things: 1) you’re boring, 2) you hate smiling and happiness, and 3) your teeth look like a piano that met a mine shaft. It’s a left from me.
3. All Group Shots
WHICH GENERIC WHITE GUY IN TIMBO’S HOLDING A FISH ARE YOU? I shouldn’t need to hire a private investigator to figure out which one you are TODD. Shout out to the guys who put “Always on the left” or “I’m not a white guy.”
4. Pet pictures
Okay this can go two ways.
- The man genuinely owns a dog/cat, cares for it, loves it, and it’s his better half. He’s had it since he was a child and his life will never be the same when the dog passes. If you date this guy, his dog will learn to love you as well, and you’ll be there to comfort him when the time comes.
OR
- Men know we like pets and used the animal solely to attract us. It’s a trap, an adorable, adorable trap.
5. No Picture/Not his face
What? So you have no face? Or maybe you do look like Sonic the Hedgehog, or Deadpool. Either way, no thanks!