A Eulogy to My Fake ID

I recently turned 21, which signifies official adulthood, new responsibilities, and the retirement of my fake ID. To commemorate my fake ID, I wrote a eulogy a few days before my birthday. As I reflected and put myself into a sentimental mood, I thanked my fake ID for all the memories it single-handedly created. 

You first came into my life when my friend slipped you into my hand in the Target parking lot. In that moment, I knew we would experience beautiful memories together.

You were there for me at every liquor store and every bar. Nobody questioned you, except that one bouncer. You were so strong for me. You were a friend to lean on.

I love your imperfections. Your hole punch, your expiration date, the fact that you’re vertical — they all make up who you are. I’ll always love you no matter how imperfect you are.

I’ve only known you for a short time, but you have given me a lifetime of memories.

Please rest now, you have lived a full and exciting life. I will never forget you and all the 21+ activities you have given me access to.

You’re unforgettable, just like that French Montana song.

Rest easy ‘ol pal.

• Adulthood
• bars
• chicago
• depaul
• eulogy
• oops