How To… With Sass: Sam Wong and Katie Cassidy
How To Survive DePauw Family Weekend
This weekend, DePauw will finally have host its first football tailgate…oh yeah, and there will be a game going on too. Tunes will be bumping, fists will be pumping, and the Natty Lite will be there in full force by 10AM. Tailgating is a great American tradition that college students look forward to all year long, but when you throw parents into the mix, things may start to get a little strange. The thought of fratting it up with your parents, tends to put a pit in the bottom of many students’ stomachs. Here’s how to make it out alive when parents revisit their youth…and their children.
Tip 1: Avoid the walk of shame.
Enough said. But really, no boy on this campus is worth running into a plethora of fifty year olds the following morning. This would be simply terrifying. Parents are not stupid and know that generally girls don’t go to church wearing high heels and sparkly dresses, although some priests may appreciate that.
Tip 2: Do not pre-game with the ‘rents.
Although they may still talk about their glory days, no one wants to hold their mom’s hair back at 2AM. You can use to your advantage the fact that they may be willing to buy you something besides what comes in a plastic bottle, but more than two shots of Patron can lead you to do a late night Boulder run.
Tip 3: Do not partake in a boulder run with your parents.
We all know this is a great campus activity, but the laws of gravity are not fond friends with the people who gave birth to us. No amount of darkness can hide the wrinkles we have given them in the 20 plus years of our existence.
Tip 4: Do take your parents to fraternities.
Show your parents off to the boys we’ve been mingling with for the past four years. Although they may be a tad bit skeptical of the mass amount of button-downs and Sperrys, the guy who you have a crush on may actually want to talk to you, once he’s seen your mom.
Tip 5: Do make your parents take you somewhere other than the Hub, Den, or Marvin’s.
It’s common knowledge that we are all sick of the minimal food options on our campus by now. Even Number One seems like a step-up from the Oriental Express, and Casa Grande can look quite tempting compared to midnight quesadillas in the Hub. Even though your DePauw alum parent may want to scale the walls of Marvin’s for their picture, assure them that you can go for fourth meal at 2AM instead. Although it may seem far from home, Almost Home is a lovely option. Here’s to a fun-filled weekend after the nail biting, eight-hour practices for Greek God and Goddess are over!