Sex plays a big part in the life of the modern college age woman. Whether you’re doing it or not, it’s a hot topic of discussion. Its even more present today thanks to the latest summer trend: “Hot Girl Summer”. What this trend brought with it was a reminder that women are still in charge of their sexuality, and it also led us to believe that previous social judgements such as slut shaming or prude shaming were a thing of the past, however, the conversations that prevailed over the summer were anything but.
As an incoming college student, the discussion of sex was a must—would we indulge in the popular hookup culture that follows the college experience? Or would we wait to form a meaningful relationship before “doing it?” Among many of my friends, the idea of being a virgin in college was a terrifying thought and something that has confused me, since I was under the impression that modern conversations about sex were healthier than ever. Many people, desperate to get rid of what they believed to be a nuisance, rushed to dating apps— Tinder, Bumble, Grindr—any platform in which they could meet a perfect stranger that would be willing to rid them of their virginity.
So, is virginity really that important?
No. It isn’t. I would be lying if I said the idea of losing my virginity to a stranger hadn’t crossed my mind. After all, isn’t virginity just a social construct? The problem with this “method” is that it takes the social progress on sexuality many steps back. Everyone has their own reasons for remaining a virgin— maybe you’re waiting for the one or maybe you just haven’t felt like having sex. Any reason is valid, and it’s something I learned literally in the first week of being a college student.
You can be a virgin or love sex and still have an amazing college experience. College is meant to be the time in which you come into adulthood, where you begin the path to finding yourself and discover what you like and don’t like. This isn’t meant to be a piece of writing you read and suddenly have a revelation, just take it as a reminder that your sex life is exactly that, yours. Nobody cares about your sexual experience. Therefore, take some time to figure out what it is that you truly want, and if it does end up being just a meaningless hookup, make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not for others.