As I approach my last semester in college, I can’t help but reflect on all of the people I have met along the way. From when I was only a shy eighteen-year-old figuring out dorm life, to twenty-one figuring out my post-college plans. There is no doubt that in college you have as many bad days as good days. It is not what anyone thinks it is going to be, nor is it ever predictable.
I like to compare first semester of college to a movie trailer. You get a glimpse of what the next four years will look like, so you think. You see all the fun parts: you make a ton of new friends, experience college parties, and you become more you, as you are away from home and away from friends who have defined you your whole life. By second semester things change. At DePauw and any other school that partakes in Spring Formal Recruitment, you come back early from winter break and ultimately all of the original friend groups you had get split up. Some may stay together, and some may try to stay together, but it simply is just hard to do. And some people remain independent from Greek life, like me, making it even harder to remain friends with many of the people you shared those first awkward but good times with.
Sophomore year presents a striking difference. Away from the freshman dorms full of excitement and new people, you either are living in your Greek house or upperclassmen housing. This is when you really figure out who your true friends are. Now that everyone is spread out across campus, making new friends within their own Greek houses, only the ones who make the effort to stay friends with you will. I thought I was “friends” with so many people who I have never spoken to again to this day. What I do know is I had a core group of friends at this point. After I went through recruitment a second time and joined a house, another opportunity of meeting new people and new friends became available. I thought just maybe, I could get that same feeling, the same rush of first semester of college again. It was great to be part of something, but so many people just seemed to stop trying to hang out with people outside of their now defined friend groups.
Junior year was my first time living in my Greek house. I had by now developed my own group of friends in the house and loved that I could say “Hi” and live with all these amazing women. It almost felt like the first-year dorms again, well almost. Now I felt myself slipping away from that core group of friends who stuck by me, as some of them joined other Greek houses as well. With everything going on, it was hard to find that time to see them. Yet, they were always there no matter what. I made even more friends in my Greek house and I then I lost some and it was a constant battle of figuring out in my own head–– so who is my friend here? Junior year got cut short by being sent home in March due to the pandemic. And it became an even bigger test to friendships. Six months went by where I did not see any of my friends from college. At the end of those six months, I felt sad to see how many friends I had truly lost or felt so distant from at this point. Yet, it got me thinking as I was about to begin senior year… I am going to graduate, we all are at some point. We are going to move around the country, go off to different graduate schools, pursue different careers and going six months without seeing some friends will be a norm. If many friends couldn’t remain close to me during the pandemic, then how were they going to stay close after graduation? I found myself feeling very sad about the friends I had lost just by being at home instead of on campus with them. By the end of the strange semester at home, I thought about how this was what was going to happen after graduation. It was bound to happen anyway, it just all happened sooner than I had anticipated.
Now it is senior year. I am no longer living in my Greek house, but I did decide to return to Greencastle and live off campus in hopes of maintaining better contact with friends. I think about all of the people I have met and the friends I have gained and lost. I truly wouldn’t be who I am today without each and every one of them. What I do know, is that my core group of friends from day one has stuck by me through every up and down, no matter the distance, or the time we didn’t talk or hangout. Now, they are some of the only people I talk to. My circle is smaller, but I’m happier knowing I have these girls by my side, cheering me on, lifting me up, and encouraging me to be my best self. They are always still there for me and I know they truly always will be.
So, I am beyond thankful for all of the people who have come into my life. Whether they have stayed or not, every person has impacted me somehow. Some people come into your life when you need them the most and sometimes it’s them who need you, not everyone is meant to stay forever, and this is me coming to terms with that. I loved every moment I got to experience in college and all the people I got to experience it with. I will always cherish the laughs, parties, study sessions, tears, late nights, hugs, and so much more that made my college experience what it is. And I wish nothing but the best for those who no longer fit into my life at this point and those who only stayed for a short while. I am still becoming a better me, but there is no doubt that who I am today, I love the most and is the best version yet.
In the end, during your last year, you will know who will still be in your life after graduation. College is full of making new friends and losing them and that is OKAY. It is all a process, as not only you, but everyone around you figures out who they are and the kind of person they want to be in life. I only wish someone had told me this sooner. So hopefully this helps someone, as the cliché term is thrown around that college is all about “finding your bridesmaids,” it is also about the journey to finding them and who is left by your side at the end of it all.
And to my core group of girls… I love you with all my heart and I cannot wait to experience post-grad life with you. Thank you for keeping me sane and stable all these years. Thank you for telling me the truth when I didn’t want to hear it. Thank you for sticking by side through every battle. Thank you for making sure I am always okay and picking me back up when I am sad. Thank you for being who you all are. You all are amazing women and I can’t wait to support the amazing lives you all will live. Near or far, I know we will always have each other.
xoxoxo