When was the last time that you saw a man who you were close to you cry? Think about the reason, and how long it has been since you have last seen him cry. The idea of a man being vulnerable is being pushed and accepted in today’s society.
In 2020, Shaquille O’Neal, physically one of the biggest men ever, cried on national television when news broke that Kobe Bryant died. He and plenty of other sports analysts were vulnerable on national TV in front of millions. However, the fact that this is becoming more accepted does not repel the notion that men are seen as weaker for shedding tears and being emotional.
Crying, being emotional, and being vulnerable is a normal and natural part of the human experience. But the societal norm or expectation for a man is to keep these feelings bottled up; a man is supposed to appear strong at all times. Phrases like “Be a man,” and “Toughen up” are something that I and most boys I know have heard growing up. And that is where that emotional suppression starts, planting the seed that being emotional comes with consequences.
When emotion is lacking in your childhood and the fact that most boys are told to suppress their feelings, they grow up to be emotionally unavailable men. This leads to many men being unable to communicate, show emotion, and develop overall weaker bonds with people closest to them.
I am by no means saying that men should cry at any inconvenience, but having a shoulder to cry on when feeling overwhelmed by the world is nice to have. Once a man is vulnerable enough to cry, he is crying for all the situations when he bottled it up. Personally, I am guilty of bottling my feelings up.
I have cried one time in seven years and I think about how in that instance I was not thinking about societal pressures. I just had a shoulder to lean on and an ear to talk into. Some men go years without crying and it can sometimes be the little things that push them overboard.
As a man, it can sometimes feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulder, and that can be overwhelming. Emotions and mental health go hand and hand. Surround yourself with people who are emotionally intelligent and willing to build you back up when you are broken down and vulnerable. But you’re not alone; women can be a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to talk to. Encourage the men in your life to be vocal about their problems whether they are emotional or not.