I never really felt like I was a legitimate college student before I pulled my first all-nighter. I always had my assignments done well in advance, knew what was going on in all my classes, and was never the kid who said, “wait… we had homework?” Two weeks into my junior year, that was all shot to sh*t. Here’s the timeline of my first all-nighter. Spoiler alert: I’m never doing that again.
10:20 p.m.
I am ready for this. I know all the things I have to do. I will get good grades. I am confident and ready to take on this homework! 4.0 HERE I COME.
11:54 p.m.
This can actually never happen again. I am going to buy a planner. I should’ve bought a planner when the school year started. I bet I could find a cute one online…
2:17 a.m.
I have now clicked the home button on my phone seven times in a row without looking at the screen because all of the people I know are already asleep.
3:30 a.m.
Googling “highest paying jobs you can get without a degree.” Who needs this?
5:17 a.m.
Counting the hours that I’ve been awake was a baaaaad idea… I could die. I’m going to email my professor and explain this life or death situation. He’ll understand.
5:19 a.m.
Yeah, I should probably not send that email. Shut it down. No, don’t even save that in “Drafts”.
6:43 a.m.
This looks great. A masterpiece. I love this assignment it’s the best thing I have ever written in my life.
5:15 p.m.
~After a well-deserved all-day rest-fest~ I’m going to go back and marvel in the glory of my paper. It’s so beautiful and coherent and intelligent I probably sounded so…
Yeah. I’m going back to bed.