It’s week three out of ten at DU and the pressure of the quarter is settling in. First exams are coming up and we’re all met with different deadlines. It is at this time where I struggle the most with my ability to focus, or my lack of it. Seems like everything goes by so quick and time moves a bit faster than I do. Apart from school I also got broken up with, had to move apartments and have my master’s deadlines due in about two weeks.
I remember my freshman self and how I used to feel like if I had one of these problems the world would collapse, and I couldn’t get my mind out of it. My mind would linger in the negativity of it all, the pain and the anxiety. It all would lead into a cycle of procrastination and feeling like I wasn’t enough.
What I want to say is that it’s okay. I am a senior and it still sometimes feels like the world is ending. People tend to invalidate our feelings, saying we are overthinking or that we are being too negative. That we are stressed and need to get over it. When actually all we really want to hear is “yeah, that sucks.” A little empathy never hurt anyone. So, I’m here to tell you that I understand it is hard, and it is hard for me too. College is hard to deal with, but nothing good comes easy.
Throughout my college experience, I’ve found new ways of coping with these stressful times. I blast music in my car and sing as loud as I can. I sit in the shower and feel the warm water calm me down. I journal and call my therapist. Sometimes, when I get really stressed, I choose to just let go of everything for a second, I go on a walk, and at night I come back ready to take all of my problems head on.
This week has been terrible for me and I wouldn’t deny that for a second. However, I did what I needed to do. I emailed my professors and let them know I was having a rough time. They understood because it is better to communicate than to just not do the work. I went home, saw my parents and my dog, grounding myself and remembering who I am. What I am made of.
It’s okay to need our parents sometimes too. I’m 22 and I don’t think I’m going to stop needing them for emotional support anytime soon. I’ve relied on my friends because I’ve learned that it is okay to ask for help when we need it. I must confess I also did a bit of retail therapy, but after a long time of placing my thoughts somewhere else other than my problems, I realized that I was able to grow from them. That everything gets fixed with time. Being strong doesn’t mean you are not allowed to cry and to ask for help. We are allowed to feel all these emotions and grow from them.
If you are feeling this way during the quarter, if you are going though stressful times, know that there is always someone who is willing to help you and willing to be there for you. Know that your feelings are validated and that if you communicate your needs, they will be met by the people around you. It’s okay to feel, as from there is where we grow. And, finally, remember to be proud of yourself because no matter where you are, you made it that far.