Winter has finally come upon us! And with the falling flakes comes freezing feet.Yes, fuzzy sock season is officially here! Are you ready for it?
But with so many options to choose from, where should one begin? How should we organize our Hannukah sock lists?
Never fear, for we at HCDU have copulated the definitive ranking of fuzzy socks. Enjoy.
NUMBER 5: THE ANKLE SOCK
Target, $1.50
The fuzzy ankle sock is a new addition to the fuzzy sock family, but unfortunately is something of a black sheep.
While much easier to wear with tight skinny jeans, as the fuzz does not reach high enough to cut off the remaining circulation in your legs, this seems to be their only real purpose. These socks do not have a strong elastic band at the top, meaning that while wearing them with boots, they may ride down your foot. And that is simply not ideal when your foot is less accessible.
For those who would rather not show off their fuzzy socks, these are a more incognito option. I fall into the opposite camp, because I want the world to see my festive sock szn joy, but to each their own.
NUMBER FOUR: THE KNEE HIGH SOCK
Unknown Christmas gift (likely Target, $5)
While the ankle sock was simply not enough sock, the knee high sock is almost too much. These socks are perfect for keeping your entire lower leg warm on a chilly day, but are not terribly practical (then again, is that really the objective here?)
On my 5’4″ frame, these socks fall at about mid knee length. This means that I can either stretch them so they stay over my knee, or allow them to bunch down slightly so they stay below my knee. They are truly at an awkward middle ground.
Also, with these socks, you inevitably run into the problem of sizing: They make your calves into cankles, so good luck with slim fit jeans or tight boots.
However, they do have cute little pandas at the top, meaning that they add even more flair than your average boot sock.
NUMBER THREE: The Calf Sock
Target, $5
The calf length fuzzy sock is likely the image that comes to mind when you contemplate fuzzy socks. They’re casual, comfy, and warm. Plus, they are a good middle of the road length option.
You bound to find lots of interesting options, such as these raccoon topped socks, meaning that you can truly express yourself. This also means that if you are like me, and tend to mix and match your socks due to the morning rush, they will feel comfortable and identical (even if they’re not.)
They don’t have any of the fancier options of our runner up and winner, but they are a solid sock to be certain.
NUMBER TWO: The Slipper Sock
Kings Soopers (Kroger,) $11
I have long said that sherpa is one of the greatest inventions known to man. When wearing sherpa lined clothing, you feel as if you are wearing a cloud of comfort and love.
Slipper socks showcase sherpa in one of its most pure forms. These slipper socks are lined fully with sherpa, meaning that as you walk you feel as if you are floating. Your feet will never become cold nor uncomfortable. Wiggle your toes to get another feel of that soft perfection. Also, if you’re missing your kitty, you can pet the outer lining, as it is also quite soft.
Slipper socks also come with sticky dots on their soles, meaning that you can walk around on your hardwood floors in peace. If you would like to reenact Tom Cruise sliding across the floor in Risky Business, we recommend you return to Number Four (they really complete the look, and slide quite well.) But, if you’re looking for security of step, this added grip is likely a bonus.
The only downside I have experienced with slipper socks is that they tend to bunch towards the heel, with the front of the slipper sitting directly on my toe. They also provide no protection for your upper foot, meaning that the chill can still find you.
Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…
The one…
The only…
SHERPA LINED SWEATER SOCK!
Walgreens, $6
Our number one choice for fuzzy sock is the sherpa lined sweater sock. This calf length wonder is so immensely warm that you will never want to take them off. The sherpa provides and retains heat, as does the attractive knit outer of the sock. They often come in lovely patterns, and provide an interesting Santa-esque aesthetic with the fur tops.
These socks also come with grippies at the bottom, meaning that you can feel secure in your step, even if it feels like you’re walking on air. You’re not, they’re just really nice socks.
Sherpa lined sweater socks also have the added bonus of remaining securely in position. I don’t know how they do it, but the sock is just tight enough that it will not slide down, without being at all constricting. All our former options have problems with staying power.
Although I have never been able to sleep in socks, sherpa lined sweater socks have proven to be the one exception. I put on some lotion to combat the dry Colorado winter, put on my fuzzy socks, and head off to sleep without any disturbance. No scratchy feet rubbing against my legs, no chilly toes bothering my comfort, just warmth and peace, and slight softening of my heels.
My singular complaint is that these socks are not able to be worn with shoes. The sherpa is too thick, and raises your foot size, and the grippies just feel wrong in a shoe.
However, they are true leisure apparel, and I’m perfectly happy to keep them nice and safe in my home.
And that’s it! Now that you’re educated, go out and get the fuzzy sock of your dreams. And, as always, stay warm out there Pios!