I was in sixth grade the first time it happened, the first time a boy touched me in inappropriate ways, despite my protests against his advances. And while twelve seems like such a young age for that first traumatic experience, it saddens me to admit that I know numerous women whose first experience with sexual assault or harassment happened years before mine did. According to now.org, over 600 women are sexually assaulted in the United States daily. “Me, too” comes out of the mouths of more women every day. While the hashtag, ‘me too’, has comforted me by reminding me that I am not alone in my experience, the fact that we have to have such a phrase also disappoints me. We women should not need to be comforted by knowing that we are not alone in our trauma. We should not have to use a hashtag on social media to draw attention to the horrendous crimes that are being committed.
Lately, the conversation about sexual assault has truly taken off. I recently performed at a spoken word contest here on campus. The most memorable poem came out of the mouth of a senior; she spoke of a recent sexual assault. The room was eerily quiet, except for some occasional snaps, as we all attentively listened to her story. At the end of the poem, this woman was brave enough to name her perpetrator, a fellow Duke student. As she walked away with tears in her eyes and sadness in her throat, we all stood, with tears in our own eyes and praise on our hands for her courage and resilience. This woman’s experience forced me to open my eyes and actually think about Duke’s 40% sexual assault rate. How many of my classmates have experienced this in their first semester of college, and how are they carrying on silently? How many of my charismatic classmates are the perpetrators?
On a broader scale, we can’t turn on the news or log into Twitter without seeing new sexual assault accusations against some of our celebrities, businessmen, and representatives. More and more women (and men) are channeling the courage it takes to bring their trauma to the attention of the public, in hopes of securing retributions against their offenders, as well as promoting social awareness and change. Too often, I hear men and women alike ask, “But why now? Why are these women, and men, just now publicly accusing these men, sometimes fifteen or twenty years after the assault or harassment occurred?” While I cannot speak for all of these men and women, I can speak for myself: the time has come where people are more open to listening and believing the victims of sexual assault rather than blaming them for what they were wearing, how they looked, etc. Do not misunderstand me: the blame-game still exists, but it is not as tolerated as it once was. And I am proud of my country for finally speaking up and admitting that this is not right and that actions must be taken to secure justice.
While I love Duke University and the United States of America, and while I am extremely proud to be a student and citizen here, I am still not satisfied with the state of things. While we are making progress on this subject, we still have far to go. We still have a President and Congressmen who abuse their power and have not yet been held accountable for their actions. We still have women, men, and children who are afraid to go out at night, afraid to walk down their own streets, afraid of the chances of reliving this trauma again, at the hands of someone new. We, as a school and as a nation, must continue to speak out against these acts, condemning them. And we must provide support and belief to the victims of sexual assault, reminding them that they do not have to fight this battle on their own. To use one of my favorite phrases, we must continue to persist, nevertheless the obstacles that we will have to overcome.