So my dinner consisted of 5 courses, 4 of which may have been dessert… #SorryI’mNotSorry
It is that dreaded time of year again… no not finals (as if those are hard). I am talking about something far more terrifying: bikini season.
I knew something strange was going on when I was at dinner the other evening and my suggestion to get LOYO was met by complete silence (imagine my shocked face). Finally, one of my friends decided to take pity and inform me that they couldn’t possibly get LOYO because they were going to Myrtle in a few weeks and would have to be seen in a bikini.
Right… so, LOYO for one then?
I had several discussions regarding the best way to get ready for bikini season. One girl told me how last summer she only drank clear liquids. Unless Starbucks’ Vanilla Crème Frappuccino counts as clear, you can count me out on that one.
Another brilliant idea was not eating before dinner. Sorry, but that is cutting out a solid five of my seven meals a day: breakfast, elevenses (those Hobbits from Lord of the Rings really knew their meals), lunch, ice-cream break (when you eat as much as I do it is a meal—don’t judge), and four o’clock linner.
How could I survive with just dinner and desert? Well apparently you can curb your appetite with option #3 mix apple-cider vinegar with water. Ewww, just eww.
My favorite suggestion was the girl who was giving up alcohol… I’m sure that worked out very well for you, kept that up for all of LDOC, right?
With my 5000 calories a day diet, you’d think I was well on my way to weighing 300 pounds, but I do try and squeeze in a solid fifteen-minute work out at least once a week at the gym, so it’s all good.
Nothing is worth giving up my daily tub of Ben & Jerry’s. I mean, who needs a break up or a broken heart to eat ice cream? Just indulge yourself. I certainly do.
I can see you staring at me in the marketplace as I fill my cup with Coke (yes, you did read that right– not Diet Coke or Coke Zero, but regular, full calorie Coke) and as I take up my six plates and bowls—I swear salad might have been in one of them (probably not though). But while you’re sipping your vinegar water, I’ll be happy this summer, because my biggest stress will be whether or not I can get through all the ice cream before it melts.
Screw bikini season. Summer is definitely Ben and Jerry’s time. That’s what they make retro one-pieces for.
Photo Sources: http://www.localyogurt.com/blog/?p=337
http://whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com/post/21354701709/when-the-waiter-as…