Demure Disney Princesses no more, these ladies really know how to navigate the college scene. And they’re here to take you along with them. Gone are the idols of your childhood. Instead, check out what these university-savvy princesses had to learn the hard way.
Lesson #1937: Don’t take food from creepy-looking strangers; it’s probably drugged.
Elementary, my dear collegiettes, but still worth a mention. Just in case you missed the whole “no candy from strangers” speech your parents used to give. Although I would probably extend this lesson to accepting drinks from fellas you don’t know. Same concept applies even though you’re grown and independent, my pretties. Most likely if you take the bait, you won’t be saved by “true love’s kiss” at the end of the night. Roofies’ love kiss is more like it.
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Lesson #1950: Your wardrobe won’t always be princess-worthy. And for heaven’s sake, don’t wear the glass slippers on your night out.
Unfortunately, most of us don’t have a magical godmother to make us look fabulous after last night’s Chi Psi blacklight. Unless you have a wardrobe assistant, in which case you’re probably too famous to be taking classes here. You never know, though. You could find a mouse with fashion sense hidden in the ceiling rafters. I wouldn’t hold my breath though. So don’t fret about looking Duke perfect all the time, collegiettes. Maybe just for that ball Friday night. B-ball of course. Show up at Cameron Indoor driving a pumpkin and no one would bat an eye.
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Lesson #1959: Next time Prince Charming tries to wake you up from a sleeping spell, tell him to go away or join you. The dragon-witch was on to something when she forced everyone to take a nap that lasted 100 years.
Hey, I’m not saying hanging out with Charming would be a bad thing. On any given day, quality boy time is a great alternative to studying. And no one really wants to sleep the day away. At least, not during the week (#rockstarrehab anyone?) But we collegiettes need our naptime. Without naps, we’d be coffee-holding, hair-frazzled, dark-eye-bags messes. Sleeping Beauty is attractive for a reason: she gets her beauty rest. So hit snooze during that power nap.
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Lesson #1989: Don’t sell your voice for the man until you’re sure he doesn’t have any side action.
This one’s a bit self-explanatory, but it’s worth mentioning. Like Ariel, we too feel the need to leave home to seek new adventure elsewhere. In the college world, what looks like a handsome Prince Eric might just be Eric with the two chicks. Best to double-check before you undergo that operation to impress him. And collegiettes? You don’t need to change yourself for a man. You’re amazing the way you are.
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Lesson #2010: Be the author of your own fairytale. And be sure to take the frying pan with you. Disney got it right with their last princess film, Tangled. This Rapunzel was not a helpless damsel stuck in her tower, but instead a butt-kicking, frying-pan-wielding, gorgeous author of her own tale. She held that bandit Rider hostage until he agreed to help her achieve her dream. Now, I’m not saying you need to capture that cute guy in your bio class and force him to do your homework—because being a doctor is the kind of dream you should work for—but don’t be afraid to live. Be adventurous, chase after what you want, be the perfect you I know you are. And if anyone says you should quit dreaming and return to the kitchen, you know what to do with that frying pan.