While we are probably all getting terrifyingly close to something resembling ‘adults’ *shudder*, that absolutely does not mean that we should no longer occasionally be tuning to CBBC for our fix of wholesome (and sometimes disconcerting) kid’s TV. There are some absolute gems that you may have forgotten about, and I feel that it is my civic duty to bring these back into your lives. The best part is that they’re made for the attention span of children, so they’re the perfect length to give your brain a break from revision- all without you needing to feel guilty!
Dick and Dom in da Bungalow
I used to hate this programme. I still hate 99% of this programme. But it has within it a feature of televisual genius that I just cannot deny the merit of. It goes by the name of ‘BOGIES’. Watching this as an ‘adult’ and realising what absolute spoons the pair are willing to make of themselves in public is nothing short of hysterical. You might be a bit ashamed, you might feel a bit childish, but you will almost certainly laugh.
Arthur
I doubt you’ve forgotten about everyone’s favourite aardvark, not least because he is one of the many victims of meme-ification, but try an episode now. Or to be specific, try the library episode. I have powered myself through countless stints in the library on nothing but Yum muffins, diet coke and the Arthur hit song ‘having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card’! Where was the album, Arthur creators?! I want Arthur songs to get me through all monotonous aspects of uni life! There is no programme more wholesome and educational than Arthur, I would be willing to bet I owe at least fifty percent of my stellar moral compass to this show (25% each for Mum & Dad, I’m not entirely ungrateful.)
Tweenies
I had forgotten about the Tweenies for some time, and given I have no concept of how to productively use my life, I watched some recently on youtube, and let me be the first to say: that shit CRAY. I have so many questions- why are all these children unsupervised except for one random, slightly creepy old bloke? Do these children have parents? Why are a bunch of 4 year olds so literate? Why does the opening sequence look like some kind of weird intergalactic LSD trip? Whose idea was it to include the line ‘these are the tastiest buns ever’? I apologise in advance if for some bizarre reason this has inspired you to watch any of this online- you will have the song in your head until the inevitable Tweenie-led uprising leads to a multicoloured musical apocalypse.
Round the Twist
Another one with an insanely catchy theme song. My memory of this is pretty much just ‘bloody hell, this is weird’. Australia really knew how to create some disturbing kids’ TV. How many shows can boast a coastal lighthouse setting coupled with wit that was definitely inappropriate for our age group? I’m fairly sure I also remember an episode where a young boy gives birth, and two minutes into the episode which I’m currently watching for ‘research’ someone has fallen in love with a tree.* You couldn’t make this shit up, and yet somebody did. Any TV show who’s opening sequence looks like it was made in Windows Movie Maker is a winner in my eyes.
*NB. Got to the end of the episode. It’s the same one. The young boy is pregnant with a tree baby. ‘It’s different for trees- all it takes is for the boy to wee on the tree and then hold hands and kiss’ Seriously. His family are also like, super chill about it? #parentgoals