With it being Female Health Week at Her Campus Durham, it is important to touch on difficult topics that may not often be discussed. Everybody has heard of domestic abuse and would be able to tell you a rough idea of what they believe the term to mean. However, there seems to be several common myths about domestic abuse that need to be debunked in order to make all women and men alike more protected.
1. Domestic abuse does not just occur within poor or uneducated families.
Domestic abuse affects all people; regardless of social or economic position. It is not dependent on ethnicity, religion, profession or education levels. Most importantly, it is not class that causes someone to become an abuser, it is their need for control. Domestic abuse is apparent in both working-class families as well as middle-class families. It can be easy for people to forget that troubles can be masked by the idyllic guise of a pristine house and impressive cars.
2. Domestic abuse affects huge amounts of people.
High profile cases are just the tip of the iceberg. The reality is that domestic abuse is actually far more prevalent than most people assume. On average a woman in the UK is beaten every 9 seconds and one in three women will report some form of domestic violence in their lifetime. Upsettingly, it is clear to see that it is a problem that is widespread, but this knowledge is essential in ensuring enough help is available.
Even with these shocking statistics, it is probable they still only account for a limited proportion of cases as many victims feel too scared, ashamed or embarrassed to come forward. If more victims knew how many other people shared the same experience as them, hopefully they would be able to come forward and find support.
3. Domestic abuse does not just mean physical violence.
I think one of the main misconceptions is that domestic abuse only includes violence. There are in fact multiple different forms of abuse. Abuse can be sexual, for example, by forcing the victim to perform acts they don’t want to do, or emotional, by blackmailing, threatening or intimidating the victim. Interestingly, abuse can also be financial, such as restricting the individual freedom of the victim by limiting their access to money.
These forms of abuse may be harder to recognise and signs that they are occurring may be more difficult to pinpoint, but this doesn’t mean they aren’t happening. If everybody was more aware of these different forms of abuse, there would be an increase in their occurrence being noticed and stopped.
4. Domestic abuse does not just mean men abusing women.
Abuse is not dependent on either gender or sexual orientation. It can occur between people of the same gender and different genders. The most common misconception of all is that men are immune from abuse. In reality, 1 in 6 men in their lifetime will experience abuse and harrowingly, 30 men per year are killed as a result.
Perhaps most unknown is that it doesn’t even have to be within a marriage or interpersonal relationships – abuse occurring between members of the same household is still classed as domestic abuse, for example a child can abuse their parent or their sibling. Knowledge like this may allow more people to recognise themselves as victims and seek support.
5. The effects of domestic abuse are not contained within the relationship between the abuser and victim.
The effects of domestic abuse are far reaching. Abuse can leave not only the victim traumatised but other members of the household too. A common misconception is that if children don’t witness the abuse then they aren’t traumatised. In fact, children can be scarred by overhearing the events and noticing the signs the next day.
6. Unfortunately, the problem is not solved after the victim leaves.
The most dangerous time for the victim is actually after they have made their escape, when the abuser may still be able to contact them. Once a victim has escaped, not all ties may be broken off. It can lead to things such as stalking and the abuser seeking revenge. In being aware of this possibility, victims can seek support for safe and assisted escape and prevent events like this occurring.
The effects of domestic abuse are also long lasting, for example it is the single most quoted reason for becoming homeless, as the victims’ lives are so intertwined with their abuser. Their experience will also change their perception of relationships for the rest of their life and will have a long standing impact on how they form such bonds in the future. Knowing this, victims are able to feel that they can seek essential support after the abuse has finished, not just during.
Domestic abuse is an issue that cannot be ignored as unfortunately, it is a crime that is strife within many communities. However, support is out there and although this article may have been difficult for many people to read, it is important to know it is possible to escape successfully and luckily there are extensive resources and organisations in place to ensure this. To find out how you can spot the signs, what to do if you experience domestic abuse or any further information, please visit the following websites: