Dear those who enquire about my post-uni plans,
Firstly, thank you for your concern and interest. Really, I am honoured that you seem to care about what I want to do with my life. It gives us an extensive topic of conversation and kind of motivates me to focus my interests a bit more. I enjoy listening to what you did, back in the day, and what your grandchildren or the neighbourās children did. They all have such great stories of how they found their passion, or even if they didnāt, they still managed to get a job and get on with renting a flat etc. Itās fun finding out that we have things in common and, oh yes, that might give me ideas and help me find my way. Sometimes I might think Iāve found my calling, and then itās even more exciting when you ask because I feel I can finally give you concrete answersā¦ until I realise that, after all, that wasnāt for me because Iāve figured out what, for example, being a lawyer, actually means. So yes, I appreciate your interest.
I have been very patient with this topic of conversation up until now, but frankly enough is enough and Iām struggling to find any positives at all. Forgive me, but itās getting to the point where I dread it. To be honest, I donāt like it at all. Iām tired of you thinking (or at least hinting) that Iām a failed person if I donāt have an idea or plan of exactly what Iām going to do the minute I graduate. Iām allowed to not know, arenāt I? Iām still at uni, still working out what I enjoy and what I might want to pursue, right? Please donāt look crestfallen when I say I donāt have any plans. Yes, there are those fortunate people in the world who have an idea; my mum appointed herself as teacher to the boy down the road at age five and never looked back. But the majority of us will just have to pick something we like, or maybe even donāt like, if it comes to that. Weāve got time. So please, ask me how uni is going rather than what Iām going to do at the end.Ā
Look, I might get angry and rant, but deep down I know youāre only asking because youāre interested. Even if youāre just making conversation and being polite, I suppose thereās still an element of interest. I guess to me it just seems like a massive burden to think about right now, and thatās why I sometimes get annoyed and defensive. If we just try and understand where the other is coming from, I think we might have more profitable discussions that donāt end in annoyance, fake politeness and/or tears. Iāll do my part to not get irrationally frustrated, I promise. And I will appreciate any efforts you make to lessen the blow of āthatā question. I have great hope that we can move on beyond our differences on this issue.
Yours sincerely,
An uncertain uni studentĀ