Due to the university culture in Durham being very much centred on socialising, I had started second guessing myself about alone time. Though I see nothing wrong about going to the cinema alone or even having a sit-down meal alone, whenever I mention it to anyone the reactions I receive are half pity and half horror.
What was particularly odd for me was that I started staying in when none of my friends were up for coffee. In quite counterintuitive ways though, I never feel the need to have a friend chaperone me at all times. The anonymity of a metropolitan is where I am most in touch with the girl who does not mind a couple of solitary hours. In fact, as much as I love and cherish my friends and my boyfriend, the time that is mine is where I am most myself.
The ubiquity of self-help techniques is evidence that we all need time to reconnect with ourselves to digest some deeper emotions and worries. All over-thinkers need some headspace to ruminate in, I guess.
We underestimate how much we can give to ourselves
Even the bubbliest extrovert feels drained sometimes from constant human contact. Durham in some ways augments sentiment for me. Studying here is almost like having all your friends live on the same street as you. The coffee dates and Wednesday nights one after another do catch up with us. When we are constantly socialising, we tend to neglect introspection. Spending time alone will give you the opportunity to gather your thoughts, analyse your own life and change things that need to be changed. All of which will only take us closer to being self-sufficient people.
We must stop treating “me” time like it is something indulgent
A night with takeaway and Netflix sounds so good, yet so wrong. Even worse is the thought of going for a coffee alone, is it not? But skimping on time to yourself equals skimping on every single commitment you have. If you do not show up for yourself, how can you possibly be there for your loved ones? Take yourself on a date! Not only will you learn loads about yourself but you will also realise what the effects of taking time out for yourself will have on everything and everyone else in your life.
“Is this what I want?”
In the whirlwind of it all, we play sports, study loads and make time for our friends, but very rarely do we have time to ask ourselves the more important questions in life. A life examined is a life well lived, and after each date with myself with a cup of coffee and my diary in my hand I come to appreciate this more and more. After all, if you wait around for someone to do things with you, you will miss out on the most important relationship of your life, with yourself.
Image Credits:
https://unsplash.com/photos/Yvl081TVnvA