If there’s one thing I’ve learned from living in a college environment so far, it’s that your squad is your family. You spend almost every waking moment with them— if you’re lucky — and you form bonds truly like no other. The only real difference between them and your real family is the lack of shared DNA. When it comes to family, chosen or otherwise, we all play different roles. Cool older sister, annoying but lovable little brother, the spoiled middle child, the protective father, and, of course, the doting mother.
The roles in your squad may look a little different, but there’s one that’s relatively consistent: The Mom. If you’re the mom of your friend group, you probably know it. You might’ve landed the role because of your natural nurturing tendencies or because you just happen to be the most responsible. Regardless of the reason, it can sometimes be demanding and a little difficult, but it’s ultimately very rewarding. Here are 10 things squad moms do that make us who we are.
We’re always, always in charge of the house key… partly because we’re control freaks and partly because we don’t trust anyone else not to lose it.
We make sure everyone has everything they need before we go out for the night… money, school I.D., fake I.D., real I.D. Chances are we might end up holding these too.
We’re the first to ask if anyone has to go potty before the Uber is called… and there’s also a good chance we’re the ones who called the Uber.
We’re the go-to bartender for mixing drinks at the pregame… and we also pour the shots. The last thing we want is someone getting blacked before we even make it out the door.
We spend half our night checking up on our friends… and making sure they want to be dancing with the guy their dancing/making out with. We also drag them away if their response is anything but enthusiastic. Honey, it’s for your own good.
The minute we’re back in the door, drunk snacks are the first thing on our mind… one of the many pleasures of being the mom. There’s nothing more satisfying than feeding a bunch of drunk and hungry cubs and wowing them with what you can whip up under the influence.
We are the hair braiders and the makeup doers… and we’ll take any chance for a makeover. Finally getting to use all the makeup we’ve been stockpiling on someone else really is a treat.
More often than not, we’re the ones behind the camera… and we insist on taking a lot of pictures. So don’t resist! Just stand there and look pretty for mom.
We’re usually the first to start cleaning up last night’s mess… and we’re not afraid to light a fire under the butt of any squad member who doesn’t immediately get up to help. But, we usually don’t have to. We’ve trained you well.
Once a month, we really let loose and give up being mom for a night… and all hell breaks loose as well. Friends stray from the pack, people get into fights that make no sense, and in the morning no one remembers any of it. Until next month…