We love them, we live with them, but what do we really want to say to them? They push our buttons and on occasion make us lose our minds. We’ve rounded up 25 anonymous quotes people wish they could say to their roommates.
Photo Credit: FOX’s New Girl
1. “Close the door when you want to get freaky! One day I was singing to Beyoncé while unloading the dishwasher when I noticed that my roommate’s light was on and her door was open. When I walked in to see if she wanted to hang out, listen to the Queen B, and help me in the kitchen, I looked down to see her and her girlfriend getting weird on the floor. All of the doors have locks. Enough said.”
2. “Please take out the trash occasionally. If you are going to make five boxes of mac and cheese a night, at least make room to throw the empty boxes in the garbage can.”
3. “Dear roommate, please come say hi to your actual roommates instead of living at your girlfriend’s apartment.”
4. “Please stop yelling on the phone while I am trying to do work.”
5. “Clean up your food when you are done cooking.”
6. “Honestly, I wish they would clean the toilet after they poop. Seeing poop streaks in the toilet isn’t my favorite.”
7. “Stop sexile-ing me!”
8. “Be quieter in the morning. Some of us are trying to sleep.”
9. “Don’t drink all of my tea. But if you’re going to, at least replace it.”
10. “Please don’t eat all of my pizza rolls. I need those to survive.”
11. “Is it that hard to screw the cap onto your toothpaste? I don’t like having to clean the sink.”
12. “Don’t walk around ass-naked with your girlfriend. We’re not on that level yet.”
13. “I’m actually in love with you.”
14. “Just because you got a better grade than me does not mean that you are, in any way, smarter.”
15. “If you see the trash can overflowing, please take it out.”
16. “Please don’t hotbox our entire suite.”
17. “When you’re done, put the seat down so that I don’t fall in.”
18. “If I am going to wake up to find an unconscious stranger on the couch, a text would be nice.”
19. “The posters of Borat and Will Ferrell in the bathroom make me uncomfortable.”
20. “Don’t empty your noodles in the sink and then not clean it up.”
21. “If you’re going to party in our home with very illegal substances maybe give us a heads up?”
22. “Your boyfriend can’t keep his shampoo in our shower. He does not pay rent.”
23. “Why must our apartment always smell like weed?”
24. “I know that you know how to clean the bathroom too.”
25. “Don’t come into the room, turn on the lights and make phone calls at 3 a.m. Even though I am too introverted to tell you, it still makes me very angry.”
Photo Credit: FOX’s New Girl
We share a living space and inevitably a life with these people. We cry with them, we cook dinner with them and we laugh with them. With all of this having been said, your roommates are your family away from your actual family, whether you like it or not. They always have your back even if it means they never put their dishes away, or they do hard drugs in the kitchen. You have to love them for their flaws.