I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for as long as I’ve been in college, and, admittedly, it gets harder every year. The promise of finally being together at the end anchors my sanity, and I’ve learned to make peace with many hard-hitting truths in order to move forward.
1. Valentine’s Day will be a lonely affair.
V-Day feels weird because you’re not single, but you aren’t spending the day with your boo, either. You’re kind of dangling awkwardly in the middle— you’re lonely but can’t exactly go on a “boys suck” spree with your single girlfriends. Yeah, it’s kind of a dumb holiday, but there’s still a tiny voice in the back of your mind wishing you could have a disgustingly sappy, romantic evening with your significant other.
2. You don’t know when you’ll see them next.
The uncertainty around seeing them hits hardest, especially when the distance is as far as mine. When you finally book that plane ticket, your relationship becomes an exciting countdown. When they’re dropping you to the airport for your flight back, a countdown seems like an unaffordable luxury.
Not knowing used to induce a ton of anxiety for me. Now, the uncertainty feels familiar and almost comfortable. I don’t know when I’ll see my boyfriend next— I don’t know if I’ll even get to see him this year.
3. They can’t always be there when you need them.
Sometimes, your significant other— the person you want to talk to the most— won’t be available to chat. Time zones pose yet another barrier between you and your partner, and occasionally, your partner won’t be awake when you’re dying to vent to them. Your daily routines won’t be as synced as couples who see each other regularly, and text messages that go unanswered for hours will have to suffice.
4. Other couples will make you extremely jealous.
Couples who see each other frequently have no idea how lucky they are, and we can’t help but despise them. Seeing couples holding hands in the park, lining up at the movie theater, and grabbing lunch constantly remind you of your missing other half. LDR couples incessantly wish for small dates together, and seeing cute couples almost always injects even the smallest sliver of jealousy.
5. It’s hard to give up.
This list might seem extremely morbid and negative, but— don’t worry— I want to end on an optimistic note.
When you’re in an LDR, giving up seems unthinkable. The beauty in long-distance relationships lies in the daily commitment to your partner and the determination to make it past hurdles. All the hard work put in makes your relationship stronger. Distance makes you more thoughtful, more independent, more understanding, and more appreciative of your other half. It cultivates a durable mentality that other couples won’t experience. Once you’ve dedicated so much effort into a relationship, it’s hard not to keep going.