Snowflakes are plummeting into the barely visible green grass, the firewood is crackling into a sweet melody and the stockings are waiting patiently to be opened. Joy and festivities are in the air, and everyone is excited to open their presents and celebrate Christmas. Well, everyone but you.
1. You don’t know any Christmas carols.
So, naturally, when everyone is singing merrily, you mumble and jumble through.
2. You don’t like eggnog, so you make up excuses to not drink it at parties.
Or you succumb to the peer pressure and act like you like it. (Or, if you’re like me, you’ve never had eggnog and you don’t intend to.)
3. You think snow and winter are overrated.
I mean, the time it takes to put on snow boots, the weight of the winter coat, the numb face, are they even worth it? Answer: Not really.
4. You hate the whole concept of Secret Santa.
Just… why?
5. You show up to parties in a cute LBD while the others are dressed in red and green.
That’s such a hideous combination, anyway. Like who thought of that?
6. You’d rather sleep in than run downstairs in the morning to look at the gifts “Santa” left for you the night before.
Nothing is better than sleep.
7. You get irrationally angry that people put up Christmas decorations in November, before Thanksgiving.
What is up with that?
8. Santa isn’t real.
Sorry, kids.
9. But hey, at least the food is great and you get a holiday out of it.
So sit back and enjoy, and who knows, you might just get kissed under the mistletoe.